100.........

I feel like I have lived a hundred years and have a hundred more to live.  Some days, like today, I start out with the best of intentions and then my laziness or my tiredness or my emotions or my ......  get the best of me.  I did get a few things accomplished, just not what I had intended.  What did I get done?  Dishes from yesterday's visit from my bonus daughter & 4 grandchildren, read a very interesting, intriguing & heart rending blog, ohsoshabbybydebbie.com/our-story-my-journey/, read it if you have time, but know it will take more than just a few minutes, but worth every minute.  I blogged a little myself, read some webpages, *played* on facebook,  for the most part I wasted this day.  And now I'm sad, I can't get my time back.   I'm glad I got to read that blog & got my dishes done.  I'm glad I got add to my story blog and this blog, but otherwise, today was empty.  And now I have to go to sleep so I can be ready for work in the morning.  I don't want to go to work in the morning.   I hate this feeling.  I hate being sad because I wasted time.  I hate feeling like I have a hundred more years to live, at least not like this.  not wasting time watching reruns, playing on facebook, spending hours, yes i said hours, doing nothing.  what was I thinking???

I wasn't going to post this when I first wrote it, it's so negative, and I didn't want my 100th post to be sad.  But, it's real, it's part of who I am and one of the things I said I wanted to do with this blog was to be real and to encourage others.  Guess what, we all have crappy days.  That's real, and I can't promise myself, or anyone else, that tomorrow will be any better but I'm going to try, I have to try.  

With that in mind, I'm going to say goodnight, say my prayers, yes, I still do that, and go to sleep.  

SHALOM!