No right.....

Whatever I think about someone being transgender has nothing to do with what I am about to say. My opinion on transgenderism has nothing to do with someone’s choice to be or not to be transgender, that’s simply that person’s choice. However, whether or not they should be in the military? Well, I personally think it would be a huge and dangerous distraction which would put ALL of our troops in harms way!
But that’s not why I’m going to say what I’m going to say.
It’s really quite simple folks. NO ONE has a RIGHT to join the military.  There I said it.
Just because a person wants to be a pilot or a football player or a ballerina or a teacher or a truck driver or a doctor does not mean they have the RIGHT to be whatever it is they have chosen. There are tests and training a person has to go through.  These tests don’t care if you are white, black, brown, purple or green, they don’t care if you are male, female, transgender, no gender or anything else.  You simply have to be able to pass the test.
When I was growing up I wanted to be a writer, singer, dancer, actor and spy!  I can sing, but I’m no Celine or Kenny Rodgers or Charley Pride or Patsy Cline or Frank Sinatra. So much for the singing part.  I can’t walk and chew gum at the same time, I was a bit of a clutz when it came to sports, so much for dancing. I’ve never been a spy, but I like watching spy movies, so maybe. Same with being an actor.   And as you know, I’m working on the writing thing.  But just because I wanted to be or do these things, does not give me the right to demand that society or some institution allow me to be a singer, dancer, actor, spy, writer.  At one point I decided to take the easy route, or so I thought, and be a teacher. I took all my college courses, did my student teaching, passed my background checks and the state tests and I became a teacher. Which I enjoyed being for about 4 years.  But I didn’t have a RIGHT to be a teacher. I had to pass the college courses and all the tests!
I’ve also been in the military, during the tale end of the Viet Nam era. My basic training was tough. Not as tough as some say it has been, but it was tough. Our troop was the first all female troop to have a male drill seargent. Drill Seargeant Spence was a great leader, and I’d like to think we did him proud!  But I didn’t have a RIGHT to join the Army.  First I had to pass a psychological and intelligence test at the recruiters office and I had to meet certain height and weight criteria. Which I did. I know of a couple of my high school chums that couldn’t get in because they were too short and overweight, and the other had a problem with his feet. While I was in basic training there were at least 2 girls who were kicked out for different reasons. One had a physical problem that didn’t get caught during the first part of the process with the recruiters. The second had some psychological issues. She actually tried to fake strep throat and then the measles just to get out of duty assignments during basic training.  They didn’t make it because they couldn’t handle it. They didn’t have a right to be in the army, they had to pass tests.  Basic training was the 2^nd level of those tests. These tests have nothing to do with your race, religion, sexuality or political opinions. These tests are about whether or not you are physically and psychologically able to be in combat!! That’s it. It’s that simple.
So to repeat myself, I don’t care of you are transhuman, transgender, translunar, transanything, You have no RIGHT to be in the military. If you can’t pass the physical and psychological tests then you do not belong in the military.  The other military members who do pass the tests have to be able to count on the others in their troop to keep each other safe and get the job done.  They can’t do that if they know they have someone with fragile emotions or other health issues in their group. Just can’t happen.
Keep in mind that suicide rates for transgenders are considerably higher than for those who are not transgenders. According to USA Today  Suicide attempts are alarmingly common among transgender individuals such as Lampe; 41% try to kill themselves at some point in their lives, compared with 4.6% of the general public. The numbers come from a study by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and the Williams Institute, which analyzed results from the National Transgender Discrimination Survey. .  This does not seem to fit well with the idea of them passing the psychological tests to become a military member.
One last time, I don’t care what race, religion, color, gender etc you are, you don’t have a RIGHT to be in the military, or to be a doctor or ballerina.
Whatever you choose to do or to be, I wish you well, so long as you can pass the test!

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Corners and Cultures

"Culture" is an interesting critter. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word Culture has 6 different definitions.
There is a scientific meaning and an artistic/intellectual meaning, amongst others. There is also the meaning of which I want to talk about today: "the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group; also :  the characteristic features of everyday existence (such as diversions or a way of life) shared by people in a place or time."

I have experienced many different cultures in my life time. I grew up in ranch country, in Nebraska,, basic training in Alabama, spent a few years in Delaware, Colorado, Alaska, and I've lived in Texas for 25+ years. And that's not counting my different duty assignments in many other states and Germany, and my visits to other countries while in Germany.  I have lived in or at least visited nearly every state in our country except Hawaii, Washington, Oregon, Florida and the states, northeast of New York.  There are no 2 cultures alike. There are slow moving, quiet, easy going cultures, busy, close, loud noisy cultures.  I've seen friendly neighborhoods, and some not so friendly, colorful and drab.

Cultures are affected by our environment, our upbringing, our religions, our friends and neighbors, economics, and a host of other factors. And my perception of different cultures is different from others of course. Our experiences, ages, families, etc all affect our perception of anything.  For example, what I liked about one culture when I was younger, I might not like now.

So let me give you someone else's thoughts on 2 different cultures.

This last Saturday I had gone to my scripture study group as usual.  One of the older gentleman had brought his 2 grandsons who were visiting from California.  They sat quietly while we read and studied and discussed from scriptures in the Torah, and the New Testament. Once or twice the older boy even made a quiet comment. They sat there smiling and were very polite.  At one point one of the others from our group asked the boys how they were liking their visit in Texas and did they miss California?  The oldest boy gave this kind of sigh and and a little laugh at the same time. Someone asked him what that was about.  His reply? He shook his head and smiled. He said it was so quiet and peaceful and mostly "slow". We all looked at him a little quizzically. He said it's a good thing, a very good thing. Pretty astute for a 15 year old boy.

I had forgotten there was such a cultural difference between Texas and California.

Honestly, I think we all forget that. We all get so settled in our own little worlds, we forget that our little corner of the world is not like the rest of the corners of the world.  We forget that people in other states and countries live different lifestyles.  

I fuss sometimes because I have to drive 40 minutes to work, That's an hour and a half out of my day just to drive. But I drive on a safe, quiet little Texas Highway, I live in a tiny little one stop light town, and even the town I drive to for work isn't all that large.  It's pretty small by some standards, 2 hospitals, 2 high schools, 3 super Wal-Marts, etc.  The culture of my little world is pretty quiet compared to most.

So why am I talking about "culture" and the differences of cultures?  Because we need to be aware that there are differences in the world. People live in different environments, have different backgrounds and histories and expectations.  How can we hope to make a difference in peoples lives if we don't understand how and why they are different. I'm not saying we have to agree with their lifestyles or background, we don't even have to like their choices.  But we do need to be kind.  We need to be willing to treat them as human beings.

If we are going to #MakeAmericaGreatAgain we need to start with ourselves, with our own little corners of the world. And we need to understand not everyone is like us. Not everyone lives in a little house on a quiet little street in a quiet little town. Some people live in high-rise apartments in a metropolis, some live in the country in a farm house, Some live on the street or wander from town to town. Some live in shelters or prisons. Some live in the middle of nowhere in a desert, or a jungle. We all live different lives in different parts of the world.  But we are all human beings. We all want to be seen and heard and loved.  That's where we start. Recognize the differences, be respectful and kind.

I understand there will be those who are still going to be hateful, those who will attempt to abuse your kindness.  I'm not telling you to be a doormat.  I stopped being a doormat sometime ago, that doesn't mean I can't be kind.  Once you identify those who are not receptive or respectful of your kindness, wish them well and move on.  It's ok.  You can't make people like you.  You can't make people be kind.  The only person you can control is yourself.

So let's get started. I'm still a work in progress, I'm still trying to remember that my lifestyle and culture are different from other people's. I'm still working on being more patient and kind.  But it's worth it to change our nation, one life, one mind, one heart at a time.

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RX: SWFFUP or Survival Basics

For the last 4 weeks I have struggled to keep my head above water.  Dad passed away the afternoon of Fathers Day and even though we were expecting it, because of Alzheimers and pancreatic cancer, it was as though someone punched me hard in my gut and knocked the wind out of me.  For the next few days afterwards I felt like it took every ounce of strength I had just to breathe and put one foot in front of the other.
I’ve learned a lot about survival in the last 4 weeks.  Let me tell you what I’ve learned about surviving, so far.  These are just some very basic tools I’ve learned to use. Nothing scientific here, just what I’ve learned from “going through it”

1. SLEEP!!!!!  You need to let yourself sleep when you feel the need.  For a couple of days I fought it but then it caught up with me all at once!  I slept 2 whole days away. Not consecutive, but I definitely slept!  Sometimes I simply could not keep my eyes open, sometimes i just felt like I was going to fall asleep walking across the floor!  When I finally quit fighting the sleep, and I just allowed myself to sleep as often as I needed to, i slowly stopped needing less sleep.  But as I was reminded more than one person, it wasn’t just Dad’s passing I was mourning, but the emptiness, and dealing with everything from the Alzheimers and cancer from the years and months and weeks before hand that had worn my system down.  My body was simply recuperating from all of that.
2. WATER, H2O!  I very quickly realized that I was forgetting to drink my water.  So I quickly remidied that by even drinking a little extra water.  Plus, with the extra hot temps here in Texas, I needed some extra water!  But it wasn’t just drinking water that I needed.   I very quickly and thankfully I remembered something my dear friend and cowriter, Josie Jackson,  "The Power of a Shower"! Because I was already practicing this on a regular basis, it was that much easier to fnd some physical, and yes, emotional healing in the simple act of showering, 3 or 4 times a day if needed.
3. FRIENDS AND FAMILY!  Besides the general well wishes and messages and cards I received from everyone, I also learned to lean on my sister friends! Josie, Gloria & Staci and my dear cousin Sandy.  Some of them just listened, some comforted, and some had some great suggestions.  Every one of them brought something special to my first steps on the road to healing. One of the sweetest, quite literally, was when Gloria stopped by my work one day and brought me a 12 pack of my favorite soda, SQUIRT!  She said she was bringing me some squirts of happiness to get me through my sadness!  Staci waited to see a movie she dearly wanted to see on opening day, just so I could go with her.  The new transformers was AWESOME, and when we left the theatre and were standing in the parking lot chatting after the movie, I had the strangest urge to shout ***TAWANDA*** at the top of my lungs! (if you don’t know what that is I reccomend you rent the movie “Fried Green Tomatoes”.  Just say’n.  Josie, is a great listener and also a holistic practitioner, believe me she was so sweet and helpful! And last but definitely not least is my cousin Sandy. Sandy’s Dad, my Uncle Cecil and my Dad’s older brother, also passed away just earlier this year.  She was so comforting and empathetic, and made a gesture so sweet that’s touched my heart so deeply.  Her grandson Chase is creating a piece of art, similar to something we saw on Facebook that reminded us both of Dad, and my relationship with my Dad, but Chase is making it even better. (more on that later)  Needless to say these ladies are all near and dear to my heart.  I can never repay them for their kindness and comfort and “Squirts of Happiness”!!  ​            
4. UNPLUG!  Yep, I said it. Unplug!  Unplug from the phone, the social media, the tv, the world!  There were times I simply needed to be alone. I journaled, I sat outside with my coffee early in the morning (while it wasn’t 105 degrees yet!), I read, I prayed, I meditated, sometimes I just sat and cried.  I went to work and did the minimum of things I had to do for “real life”, and the rest of the time I allowed myself to do whatever I felt I needed to do to unplug from the world and plug into whatever I thought would help at least begin to heal the pain I felt, without justifying to anyone, or making exuses.

So there you have it, my personal prescription for survival, I call it RX: SWFUP, Daily Dosages needed without fail!  I’m not a DR. and I can’t guarantee 100% success.  I’m still working on it. But so far so good.  And it’s way better than falling to pieces.  Oh wait, I did that too, but this 4 part RX helped me pick up the pieces and start putting them back together.

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