Moments

We are more than just getting up and going to work and coming home and repeating that day after day after day. We are more then paying bills, doing dishes and laundry, mowing the lawn, sitting and watching TV. We are more than just existing.
I don't know about you, but I don't want to just exist. I want to live. I mean really live. I want to be aware of every moment and enjoy every possible moment that I can.
About a week ago I was coming home from my sister-friend Gloria's house, where I had shared a Shabbat dinner with her, her children and a family friend. It was later in the evening tn what I had planned for driving home. I don't like driving at night. When I left I had just enough time to get home before dark. As soon as I got outside of town, something came over me and I shut off the radio. It seemed like all it was doing was just making noise. Suddenly I became overwhelmed with the quiet of the evening. It wasn't that it was a physical kind of quiet, I mean after all the car was still making noise since the engine was on and I was traveling on a highway that had a sort of rough surface.
The sky was a gentle, soft blue, and I could see the sun setting in the west. There wasn't a single cloud anywhere and you could just begin to see a star or two peeking into the sky towards the east.
No, it was a different kind of quiet. An emotional or spiritual kind of quiet.  The quiet I heard was within my own spirit. It was a quiet of being in the moment. I can't count the number of times I have driven the same road and never felt this emotion before. Usually I listen to the radio or cd and just travel down the road, not giving a thought to my surroundings or anything else. Just watching the other vehicles on the road, watching for deer in the ditches, and wanting only to get home.
This evening was different. I don't know if it was because of sharing a wonderful evening with my friends, or because of things I've been thinking about lately, but whatever it was it felt comfortable and peaceful. I was aware of my thoughts, I was aware of the enormity of the sky and my physical presence in comparison. It was all just so comfortable and so sweet. It was a sudden and quiet sense of belonging in the universe. I wasn't just existing. I was alive. I suddenly realized, I mattered. I was not an insignificant part of universe, but I was important, I mattered. Not because I'm anything special in an egotistical kind of way. But because I was created to be a part of this universe. I was created to be a part of my surroundings and my family and my friends. I was created to interact with, give back to and be a part of others in my sphere of influence. I felt so small and yet so large, both at the same time. I felt alive! It was one of those moments where you have no words to speak at the time and yet, all at once, you're filled with so much you want to say.
There was no one there to say it to, except for myself. And my Heavenly Father. My Creator.
But I really didn't need to say any words out loud. I knew within me I just needed to be alive to experience the peace and comfort of the moment. No more just existing. It was time for me to live!
I soaked in the enjoyment of the peace and quiet for the rest of the ride home, in the awareness of every moment.
At this point you might be asking, okay so what difference did it make? Some time ago I wrote an article about jumping, I have to admit, I probably didn't jump as high as I should have after writing that article. They were more like little hops. After that drive home, I was determined to start living every single moment and stop just existing. And I did that. I'm doing that. Even those moments when I'm sitting down and doing nothing, I'm enjoying them, I'm doing nothing on purpose!  I've made other changes also. I decided to remove myself from negative environments and stop doing things that were not enjoyable and were not adding to my living. I had been putting off looking for employment closer to home, so I wouldn't have to drive anymore. The Tuesday after, I applied for a job. That Friday I got the job. In two weeks I will no longer have to drive an hour and a half for work everyday. In two weeks I will walk a block and a half to work instead. As soon as the new employer and I shook hands on the deal I felt a weight lifted. I knew it was the right choice! There are other things I'm doing also, rearranging and throwing stuff out of my house. More quiet time with Elohim. And most importantly reaching out to family and friends as much as I can. I am alive! Not just existing. I am so grateful for that drive home the other evening. I'm so grateful for the life given to me by Elohim, I don't want to waste it with just existing anymore.

No right.....

Whatever I think about someone being transgender has nothing to do with what I am about to say. My opinion on transgenderism has nothing to do with someone’s choice to be or not to be transgender, that’s simply that person’s choice. However, whether or not they should be in the military? Well, I personally think it would be a huge and dangerous distraction which would put ALL of our troops in harms way!
But that’s not why I’m going to say what I’m going to say.
It’s really quite simple folks. NO ONE has a RIGHT to join the military.  There I said it.
Just because a person wants to be a pilot or a football player or a ballerina or a teacher or a truck driver or a doctor does not mean they have the RIGHT to be whatever it is they have chosen. There are tests and training a person has to go through.  These tests don’t care if you are white, black, brown, purple or green, they don’t care if you are male, female, transgender, no gender or anything else.  You simply have to be able to pass the test.
When I was growing up I wanted to be a writer, singer, dancer, actor and spy!  I can sing, but I’m no Celine or Kenny Rodgers or Charley Pride or Patsy Cline or Frank Sinatra. So much for the singing part.  I can’t walk and chew gum at the same time, I was a bit of a clutz when it came to sports, so much for dancing. I’ve never been a spy, but I like watching spy movies, so maybe. Same with being an actor.   And as you know, I’m working on the writing thing.  But just because I wanted to be or do these things, does not give me the right to demand that society or some institution allow me to be a singer, dancer, actor, spy, writer.  At one point I decided to take the easy route, or so I thought, and be a teacher. I took all my college courses, did my student teaching, passed my background checks and the state tests and I became a teacher. Which I enjoyed being for about 4 years.  But I didn’t have a RIGHT to be a teacher. I had to pass the college courses and all the tests!
I’ve also been in the military, during the tale end of the Viet Nam era. My basic training was tough. Not as tough as some say it has been, but it was tough. Our troop was the first all female troop to have a male drill seargent. Drill Seargeant Spence was a great leader, and I’d like to think we did him proud!  But I didn’t have a RIGHT to join the Army.  First I had to pass a psychological and intelligence test at the recruiters office and I had to meet certain height and weight criteria. Which I did. I know of a couple of my high school chums that couldn’t get in because they were too short and overweight, and the other had a problem with his feet. While I was in basic training there were at least 2 girls who were kicked out for different reasons. One had a physical problem that didn’t get caught during the first part of the process with the recruiters. The second had some psychological issues. She actually tried to fake strep throat and then the measles just to get out of duty assignments during basic training.  They didn’t make it because they couldn’t handle it. They didn’t have a right to be in the army, they had to pass tests.  Basic training was the 2^nd level of those tests. These tests have nothing to do with your race, religion, sexuality or political opinions. These tests are about whether or not you are physically and psychologically able to be in combat!! That’s it. It’s that simple.
So to repeat myself, I don’t care of you are transhuman, transgender, translunar, transanything, You have no RIGHT to be in the military. If you can’t pass the physical and psychological tests then you do not belong in the military.  The other military members who do pass the tests have to be able to count on the others in their troop to keep each other safe and get the job done.  They can’t do that if they know they have someone with fragile emotions or other health issues in their group. Just can’t happen.
Keep in mind that suicide rates for transgenders are considerably higher than for those who are not transgenders. According to USA Today  Suicide attempts are alarmingly common among transgender individuals such as Lampe; 41% try to kill themselves at some point in their lives, compared with 4.6% of the general public. The numbers come from a study by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and the Williams Institute, which analyzed results from the National Transgender Discrimination Survey. .  This does not seem to fit well with the idea of them passing the psychological tests to become a military member.
One last time, I don’t care what race, religion, color, gender etc you are, you don’t have a RIGHT to be in the military, or to be a doctor or ballerina.
Whatever you choose to do or to be, I wish you well, so long as you can pass the test!

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Corners and Cultures

"Culture" is an interesting critter. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word Culture has 6 different definitions.
There is a scientific meaning and an artistic/intellectual meaning, amongst others. There is also the meaning of which I want to talk about today: "the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group; also :  the characteristic features of everyday existence (such as diversions or a way of life) shared by people in a place or time."

I have experienced many different cultures in my life time. I grew up in ranch country, in Nebraska,, basic training in Alabama, spent a few years in Delaware, Colorado, Alaska, and I've lived in Texas for 25+ years. And that's not counting my different duty assignments in many other states and Germany, and my visits to other countries while in Germany.  I have lived in or at least visited nearly every state in our country except Hawaii, Washington, Oregon, Florida and the states, northeast of New York.  There are no 2 cultures alike. There are slow moving, quiet, easy going cultures, busy, close, loud noisy cultures.  I've seen friendly neighborhoods, and some not so friendly, colorful and drab.

Cultures are affected by our environment, our upbringing, our religions, our friends and neighbors, economics, and a host of other factors. And my perception of different cultures is different from others of course. Our experiences, ages, families, etc all affect our perception of anything.  For example, what I liked about one culture when I was younger, I might not like now.

So let me give you someone else's thoughts on 2 different cultures.

This last Saturday I had gone to my scripture study group as usual.  One of the older gentleman had brought his 2 grandsons who were visiting from California.  They sat quietly while we read and studied and discussed from scriptures in the Torah, and the New Testament. Once or twice the older boy even made a quiet comment. They sat there smiling and were very polite.  At one point one of the others from our group asked the boys how they were liking their visit in Texas and did they miss California?  The oldest boy gave this kind of sigh and and a little laugh at the same time. Someone asked him what that was about.  His reply? He shook his head and smiled. He said it was so quiet and peaceful and mostly "slow". We all looked at him a little quizzically. He said it's a good thing, a very good thing. Pretty astute for a 15 year old boy.

I had forgotten there was such a cultural difference between Texas and California.

Honestly, I think we all forget that. We all get so settled in our own little worlds, we forget that our little corner of the world is not like the rest of the corners of the world.  We forget that people in other states and countries live different lifestyles.  

I fuss sometimes because I have to drive 40 minutes to work, That's an hour and a half out of my day just to drive. But I drive on a safe, quiet little Texas Highway, I live in a tiny little one stop light town, and even the town I drive to for work isn't all that large.  It's pretty small by some standards, 2 hospitals, 2 high schools, 3 super Wal-Marts, etc.  The culture of my little world is pretty quiet compared to most.

So why am I talking about "culture" and the differences of cultures?  Because we need to be aware that there are differences in the world. People live in different environments, have different backgrounds and histories and expectations.  How can we hope to make a difference in peoples lives if we don't understand how and why they are different. I'm not saying we have to agree with their lifestyles or background, we don't even have to like their choices.  But we do need to be kind.  We need to be willing to treat them as human beings.

If we are going to #MakeAmericaGreatAgain we need to start with ourselves, with our own little corners of the world. And we need to understand not everyone is like us. Not everyone lives in a little house on a quiet little street in a quiet little town. Some people live in high-rise apartments in a metropolis, some live in the country in a farm house, Some live on the street or wander from town to town. Some live in shelters or prisons. Some live in the middle of nowhere in a desert, or a jungle. We all live different lives in different parts of the world.  But we are all human beings. We all want to be seen and heard and loved.  That's where we start. Recognize the differences, be respectful and kind.

I understand there will be those who are still going to be hateful, those who will attempt to abuse your kindness.  I'm not telling you to be a doormat.  I stopped being a doormat sometime ago, that doesn't mean I can't be kind.  Once you identify those who are not receptive or respectful of your kindness, wish them well and move on.  It's ok.  You can't make people like you.  You can't make people be kind.  The only person you can control is yourself.

So let's get started. I'm still a work in progress, I'm still trying to remember that my lifestyle and culture are different from other people's. I'm still working on being more patient and kind.  But it's worth it to change our nation, one life, one mind, one heart at a time.

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RX: SWFFUP or Survival Basics

For the last 4 weeks I have struggled to keep my head above water.  Dad passed away the afternoon of Fathers Day and even though we were expecting it, because of Alzheimers and pancreatic cancer, it was as though someone punched me hard in my gut and knocked the wind out of me.  For the next few days afterwards I felt like it took every ounce of strength I had just to breathe and put one foot in front of the other.
I’ve learned a lot about survival in the last 4 weeks.  Let me tell you what I’ve learned about surviving, so far.  These are just some very basic tools I’ve learned to use. Nothing scientific here, just what I’ve learned from “going through it”

1. SLEEP!!!!!  You need to let yourself sleep when you feel the need.  For a couple of days I fought it but then it caught up with me all at once!  I slept 2 whole days away. Not consecutive, but I definitely slept!  Sometimes I simply could not keep my eyes open, sometimes i just felt like I was going to fall asleep walking across the floor!  When I finally quit fighting the sleep, and I just allowed myself to sleep as often as I needed to, i slowly stopped needing less sleep.  But as I was reminded more than one person, it wasn’t just Dad’s passing I was mourning, but the emptiness, and dealing with everything from the Alzheimers and cancer from the years and months and weeks before hand that had worn my system down.  My body was simply recuperating from all of that.
2. WATER, H2O!  I very quickly realized that I was forgetting to drink my water.  So I quickly remidied that by even drinking a little extra water.  Plus, with the extra hot temps here in Texas, I needed some extra water!  But it wasn’t just drinking water that I needed.   I very quickly and thankfully I remembered something my dear friend and cowriter, Josie Jackson,  "The Power of a Shower"! Because I was already practicing this on a regular basis, it was that much easier to fnd some physical, and yes, emotional healing in the simple act of showering, 3 or 4 times a day if needed.
3. FRIENDS AND FAMILY!  Besides the general well wishes and messages and cards I received from everyone, I also learned to lean on my sister friends! Josie, Gloria & Staci and my dear cousin Sandy.  Some of them just listened, some comforted, and some had some great suggestions.  Every one of them brought something special to my first steps on the road to healing. One of the sweetest, quite literally, was when Gloria stopped by my work one day and brought me a 12 pack of my favorite soda, SQUIRT!  She said she was bringing me some squirts of happiness to get me through my sadness!  Staci waited to see a movie she dearly wanted to see on opening day, just so I could go with her.  The new transformers was AWESOME, and when we left the theatre and were standing in the parking lot chatting after the movie, I had the strangest urge to shout ***TAWANDA*** at the top of my lungs! (if you don’t know what that is I reccomend you rent the movie “Fried Green Tomatoes”.  Just say’n.  Josie, is a great listener and also a holistic practitioner, believe me she was so sweet and helpful! And last but definitely not least is my cousin Sandy. Sandy’s Dad, my Uncle Cecil and my Dad’s older brother, also passed away just earlier this year.  She was so comforting and empathetic, and made a gesture so sweet that’s touched my heart so deeply.  Her grandson Chase is creating a piece of art, similar to something we saw on Facebook that reminded us both of Dad, and my relationship with my Dad, but Chase is making it even better. (more on that later)  Needless to say these ladies are all near and dear to my heart.  I can never repay them for their kindness and comfort and “Squirts of Happiness”!!  ​            
4. UNPLUG!  Yep, I said it. Unplug!  Unplug from the phone, the social media, the tv, the world!  There were times I simply needed to be alone. I journaled, I sat outside with my coffee early in the morning (while it wasn’t 105 degrees yet!), I read, I prayed, I meditated, sometimes I just sat and cried.  I went to work and did the minimum of things I had to do for “real life”, and the rest of the time I allowed myself to do whatever I felt I needed to do to unplug from the world and plug into whatever I thought would help at least begin to heal the pain I felt, without justifying to anyone, or making exuses.

So there you have it, my personal prescription for survival, I call it RX: SWFUP, Daily Dosages needed without fail!  I’m not a DR. and I can’t guarantee 100% success.  I’m still working on it. But so far so good.  And it’s way better than falling to pieces.  Oh wait, I did that too, but this 4 part RX helped me pick up the pieces and start putting them back together.

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Limitations.......

Limitations can be very unkind and, well, limiting! We all have some very real limitations.

I'm short, 5'3", 60+ years old, and decidedly uncoordinated. Even if I wanted to, and I don't, I could never be a basketball player. I'm ok with that. As much as I would love to be the captain of a "starship" in space, they don't actually exist. So, that's a limitation that is disappointing, but I'll live.

Some limitations are temporary and/or just in my mind. Losing weight; a work in progress, limited only by my own self determination and discipline. "Reconstructing" this house; temporarily limited by finances and the availability of time. Visiting my Dad, Mom or children & grandchildren, other family and friends; temporarily limited by finances and time. Making some changes in my life; limited by my own choices, age, & temporarily by finances.

The other day I was speaking with a friend and we were discussing the limitations of our parents because of their health issues. Our conversation was eye opening, to say the least. As many of you know my Dad has Alzheimer's and we recently discovered he also has pancreatic cancer. His health is declining rapidly each day. He is now limited by his own body. Dad can no longer do the things he used to love doing, playing his guitar, bowling, tinkering on "projects" in his garage, going fishing, playing with his great grandchildren. The ravages of these diseases and age have taken a toll on my Dad's life. If he is having a bad day, he can't do anything about it, he can't even tell anyone anymore (Alzheimer's), except if he's able to say the word "hurt" or something similar. If I hate anything in life, I hate what this is doing to my Dad, how it is limiting his enjoyment of the final years of his life. I know this is not a choice he made, but I hate this limitation on my Dad nonetheless.

I'm making a conscious decision to do the best I can to "get healthy" and hopefully not be limited by my own body as I get older. Also, unlike my Dad, if I am having a bad day, I can choose to do something about it. I am limited only by myself, by my own mindset. I can choose to think of something positive, do something nice for someone, do something nice for myself.  Those are just small things. Even if I am temporarily limited by something, my health, finances, time, etc, I can choose to make changes to remove those limitations.

 (I'm working on some of those right now.)

Sometimes, we are limited by things outside ourselves; laws, weather, location, jobs, parents (if you are still living at home). We are ruled by a set of laws, by our government (wrong or right). We could break the law, but there are consequences, Not a good choice. We can make changes to some of this, by our votes, by speaking up and letting our political forces know what we want and don't want! We could go on a picnic during a blizzard, also not a good choice, and it might not be as fun as if we wait for nicer weather? I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

There's so much violence and sadness in the world today. Sometimes it's overwhelming & it can be limiting, (fear, emotions, new laws, etc). I refuse to allow these things to limit my emotions or my choices. I can fight these limitations. I can speak up, which I do on occasion. I can vote, which I do. And I can reach out to others, to change the world around me, one mind, one heart, one smile at a time.

In one of his recent podcasts, "To Quit or Not to Quit" my friend Jonathon Dunne asked the question, "does God have any limits?".  My honest answer is yes, and no. He can do anything He wants, but He also gave us free will. For example, if I ask Him to help me with my weight loss, but continue to eat donuts and pizza and all the stuff I know I shouldn't, I'm putting limits on what He wants to do for me.  If a person asks for help with their marriage, their children, their jobs, their...... but they aren't willing to do the work, they are putting limits on Him. He is willingly limited by the choices we make. Personally speaking I prefer to do things His way and I want to do whatever I can to remove the limits I have rebelliously placed on my Heavenly Creator!

So, here's why I'm writing this. I'm tired of living with all these self-imposed, health, age, financial and society imposed limitations. I can do what I need to do to make the changes necessary in my life, to get rid of as many limitations as possible.  But I can't change the world, or even my little corner of it all by myself.

If you're up to it, ask yourself what limitations you are living with that you can challenge, maybe even abolish altogether? What can you do to change your little corner of the world and make it better.

I'm done with limitations.

As always you can find this article and many others at Lanterns Buzz.

Two Sides To Every Story

Everyone has heard about the atrocities of the VA (Veterans Administration) Medical System.

"More than 120 previously unpublished investigations by the Veterans Affairs Department's inspector general, dating as far back as 2006, reveal problems at VA medical centers nationwide ranging from medical malpractice and patient safety concerns to mismanagement, infighting and corruption."

I am not saying there are not things that can't be improved. I know there are Veterans who have suffered due to mismanagement or lack of proper and immediate care. You only have to pick up a newspaper, turn on the television or the computer and you can find a plethora of articles trumpeting the ills of the system.

My own experience with utilizing the VA medical facilities tells a different story. Granted, I live in a smaller community which no doubt makes a difference, but on the occasions where I've been required to travel to larger facilities, 2 and 4 hours away, I continued to receive the finest care.

I have never once been treated with anything less than respect and kindness. From the receptionist at the front desk, my nurses, doctors, phlebotomists, other specialists, even those I merely passed in the hallways, I was always made to feel as though I was as important as anyone else and they were happy to help me.

I'm especially fond of my nurses, I can't mention them by name because of privacy rules, but they are some of the most wonderful ladies! They listen, they take the time to talk to me and listen to me. Not just about my medical concerns, but also about how my day, and their day is going. We talk about local events or news events, we all shake our heads at some of what's going on. We talk about our children and grandchildren. They give me ideas to compliment what the Doctor has instructed me to do. They comfort me and on nearly every occasion we find something to laugh about together. THANK YOU LADIES!

I have even had one Doctor from a specialty clinic who called me personally, not his nurse, not his secretary, but he called me himself to check in on me after the procedure. Amazing. Even though I probably won't see this Doctor again, I have to say he was one of my favorites! 36 years old, crazy mismatched socks, colorful tie and made me laugh during the procedure. Dr. L., you're a hoot!

I know there are those out there who don't agree that veterans should receive this kind of specialized medical care after they have completed their service time for our country. There are those who think the mistreatment of our veterans is just part of the way life is. There are those who don't care one way or the other.  There are those who believe the mistreatment is rampant throughout the entire system and it's just horrid and the whole of the VA system should be done away with.

I disagree.  Not just because I am fortunate enough to receive positive and thorough care.

I disagree because the VA Medical System is no different than any other "system". You can find mismanagement and incompetence anywhere and every where. A public or other type of private medical facility. A grocery store, a private business, educational facility, government organization, you name it, you can find fault anywhere.

I cannot and will not defend the negative aspects of any system.  However, I will speak up to say, just as nothing is altogether perfect, also nothing is altogether without any merit at all. There is positive and negative to everything. Even us as individuals, we all, each and every one of us, have weaknesses and strengths.

All I ask is the next time someone considers speaking so horribly about the VA Medical System, please remember, there are good doctors, nurses, receptionists, facilities out there who really care about our veterans and want to give them the best service possible, in return for the service our veterans provided to our country.

One last note, I am so proud and honored to see two flags at the entrance to every facility. The Flag of the United States of America, and the POW-MIA flag, to remember those men and women who were/are prisoners of war or are missing in action. Thank you to our veterans for your service to our country and those who are POW-MIA.


You can find more of my articles and articles by other authors and broadcasters @Lanterns Buzz.

GENERATIONS.......

Everyone knows about the "Baby Boomer" generation, right? But what about the generation that gave birth to the Baby Boomers?  They're still out there you know. However, their numbers are dwindling, rapidly.

Most of the younger generations, I've lost track of all their designations/descriptions, don't appreciate or understand the knowledge and wisdom that will be lost as we lose the PBB generation (Pre-Baby Boomer).  My parents are from that generation.

The majority of the parents of the Baby Boomers were raised during the Great Depression, 1929-1940.

 My parents are from that generation. They both have their own stories to tell.
The story I want to tell today is what my parents taught me.  As the oldest daughter of 3 girls, I have the advantage of knowing my parents the longest.  I know this seems like an odd statement, but I value knowing no one can ever take that away from me.  I remember a lot of things my younger siblings were never able to experience, both good and bad, and I treasure those memories.  They are mine, and mine alone.

Mom and Me!

Mom was the 3rd child and oldest daughter of 11 children. Grandpa worked on the railroad.  One of my favorite sounds is that of the train whistle.  I'm told Grandma sometimes cooked for the railroad workers.  It was the time of the depression and they had a lot of children to clothe and feed.  That meant my mother was in charge of taking care of her brothers and sisters and getting them out the door for school.  Mom used to tell me stories about having to put the ringlets in her little sisters hair, all 5 of them, plus her own.  She didn't have an electric hot brush.  She had pin curls and a "hot iron" that was heated on the pot belly stove in their kitchen. She cooked, she cleaned, she did all the things a mother would do.

Because of Mom's hardships growing up she made sure us girls (my sisters and myself) never had to do some of the hard chores she had to do.  But she also taught me to "make do".  If you didn't have what you needed, you "made do", you figured out a replacement, or did without.  And you didn't whine about it.  Mom also taught me that when the going gets tough, the tough get going.  You just do what you have to do to get the job done.  And you don't whine about it.

I know Mom gave up a lot for us girls, so we wouldn't have to do without some things.  Mom always kept the cleanest house. She made our dresses.  She cooked foods from scratch.  She didn't whine about it.

My Mom was and is no snowflake!  One way or the other Mom made me "tough".  I hated doing dishes, but Mom made sure we knew the importance of eating off of clean dishes!  We used to joke that you could literally eat off her kitchen floor it was that clean.  It was no joke. You really could.  I learned how to clean house from Mom.  (You'd be surprised how fast you can vacume & dust a living room if you want to watch American Bandstand on a Saturday morning!) I learned how not to whine about it from Mom.  I learned that when something needed to get done, you simply pitched in and helped.  You didn't wait to be asked.  I'm still the first one to jump up for the paper towels or band aides when there's a spill of milk or blood or whatever, it's instinct.  And I don't whine about it. It's just what I need to do.

If you haven't figured it out by now, one of the most important things Mom taught me was not to whine about it.  You do whatever is needed to get the job done, you don't give up and you don't whine about it. 

Dad and Me!

Dad's family was a little smaller, there were only 7 children in his family.  Dad was the baby of the family.  I remember stories about how they raised their own chickens, had a sparse garden, ground their own wheat for flour. (Grandma Celia was an excellent cook, my favorite was her chicken pot pie!).  They, meaning the whole family, walked in to town and worked odd little jobs to get money to buy a few groceries.  Grandma taught me how to darn socks.  Nothing was thrown away and everything had more than one use.  

My Dad is my hero!  I'll just be totally blunt about it, I think my Dad ROCKS!  Dad can't read sheet music, but he can play more instruments than anyone I know, including "the spoons".  He can hear a song and just "pick it out"  within a few minutes he's playing & singing it like a pro! Dad sang with my cousins and uncles and aunts, on both sides of the family at all of our family gatherings.  He was in his own country band, way back when.  We always had music at our house!  Dad was in the Navy (that's how I got my name!), He worked on the railroad.  He dispatched for the police department.  Mostly, he was a mechanic.  He was a great mechanic and taught me a lot about taking care of my own cars. 

Dad taught me how to drive, how to fish, how to figure out stuff.  Dad could make something from anything!  And he often did.  Dad could fix anything.  He wasn't obvious about any of it (well, except maybe his music), he just did it.  Dad taught me to get to work early, your coat is put away and you are ready to start work at 8am, not just walking in the door at 8am.  Dad taught me to always do my best.  Not necessarily for the boss, but because it was the right thing to do.

Dad also had a sensitive side that a lot of people didn't get to know. Dad was always willing to help people.  He was great at making us laugh.  More than once he would sneak me a chocolate bar and tell me "don't tell your mother or sisters, this is just for you".  I was the one he took fishing with him the most, partly because I was the oldest, but also because I wasn't a chatterbox.  I just enjoyed being with Dad, and I was/am a dreamer, so I could just imagine all kinds of things while we fished.  I don't remember not knowing how to waltz or do the two-step, Dad taught me by letting me "dance on his toes".  Sometimes I would pretend not to know something, just so I could spend time with Dad to learn it again.     I'll never forget the gift he gave me on one birthday.  I was a single mom of 3 wonderful children, but with little to no support from my ex.  It had been a hard year and I was struggling to pay bills, put food on the table and keep my children in clothes (they sure grow fast!).  I was working 2 jobs and I was in the Army Reserves.  The day of my birthday I was feeling kind of down, I thought my family had forgot.  Just before I was supposed to pick the kids up from school, there was a knock on my apartment door.  It was Dad.  "Here, this is for your birthday, don't tell your mother.  And I better not catch you spending it on bills or groceries or I'll take it back, this is just for you!" and he handed me a $20 bill.  I still cry every time I think about it, including now.  And I still have the striped pastel sweater jacket I bought with that $20. 

Dad taught me so much! He taught me to do my best, to be creative, and to "figure things out".  Mostly Dad taught me to be kind, to be generous, and to love.  Dad has Alzheimer's now.  He doesn't remember a lot of our most recent memories.  He often asks me where I live now or how the kids are doing in school (they are grown with their own kids).  But we have great conversations about memories from when I was a little girl.  Dad has also taught me to treasure those memories!

I love my parents.  They weren't perfect.  But they are my parents, and they both loved me, each in their own way.  They both did the best they could for me, for my sisters, and for my children.  I couldn't have made it without them!  

So back to where I started. What my parents taught me, those are the things we will lose if we don't pass them on to our children.  There are lots of tips and tricks they used to survive the depression that will disappear when they are gone.  I've learned some of them, but not all of them, not enough.  I'm glad my parents are still alive.  I'm glad they are still willing and able to talk about some of these things. 

No matter what age you are, what generation you come from, find someone from the PBB or Baby Boomer generation and learn all you can while you still can.  It might seem like a waste of time, but it's not.  I know how to "can", how to sew, how to cook from scratch, how to crochet a blanket.  I know how to do minor wiring and other repairs, bait a hook and clean a fish, change a tire, change the oil in my car (though I'd prefer not to).  I know how to ride a horse, without a saddle.  I still drive a "standard".   I know a lot of little things, but important things that my parents and grandparents taught me. 

But most importantly I learned the value of life and living from my parents.  I hope our younger generations will learn these things, the tips and tricks and the value of life things, before it's too late.  Not just for their sake, but for the sake of their children, and grandchildren and great grandchildren, for the sake of all the generations hopefully yet to come.


This article can also be found @ Lanterns Buzz. along with more great articles by myself and others!

Say Yes to New Beginnings

Josie: "you should really do a follow-up article about narcissism"

Me: "I want to but I'm kind of worried about it because some of the narcissists are still in my life and I don't want to stir up any trouble" (typical codependent)

Josie: "well, I understand that, but think about it, you have more to share"

Me: "ok, I'll think about it.  But I don't know how I could do it without stepping on some toes"

As soon as we said our goodbyes and hung up the phone, I mean not even a minute later, BANG! I knew how I could do it!  That's what happens when you let Elohim (God) take the wheel.  But more on that another time. The rest of this article is the "how" that Elohim shared with me in answer to Josie's suggestion. That's why I can write this article because it's not about the narcissists or who they are, it's about healing from their wounds.  It's about getting over the self doubt they caused so I can finally jump and find my yes!

Over the last few months I’ve been taking a look at where my life is at.  Why am I where I am and who I am?  Do I like it?  Why or why not?  If I don’t like it, how do I fix it?   It turns out, I like part of my life and part of it, well, not so much. 

The parts I like are centered around my children and and grandchildren, my friends, writing and finally being over 60.  I know, that last one is kind of crazy, but let me just tell you semi-retirement is GREAT!!!!  There are other smaller things I like about my life also;  my 4 legged pal Kaci, chia-berry smoothies for breakfast, walking to the post office……….

However, there are parts of my life I don’t like.  That’s why I am writing this. I know there are others out there who, like me, don't like part, or maybe all of their life.  Like me, you are waiting to heal, waiting to breath, waiting to figure things out.  Why are we waiting?  Because we're scared, because we don't think we know how to do anything else except to wait and be scared and be sad.......  I'm writing this to let you know you're not alone and YES YOU CAN. What is it you can? You can say yes.  What you say yes to, that's up to you, but first things first, we have to figure out why we think we can't.  Then we can figure out how we can!

If I don’t like parts of my life, why not and how do I fix it?  The first thing I had to do was take a long hard look at my life to figure out how I got there.  Keep in mind, this wasn’t all on a conscious level, it started out more in my subconscious.  I was angry, frustrated, sad, or at least not happy, and I didn’t understand why.

As I started becoming more aware of the idea that something was wrong, I started looking for answers.  And, as I was looking for answers, mostly from within myself and spiritually, things started popping up on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, new people in my life, etc.  The posts and videos might have been on my different feeds all along, but I was just then beginning to see them.

One of the subjects that kept coming up the most was regarding narcissism and codependency.  I had heard these terms before, I knew what they meant, but I never really gave them any thought.  But, by chance, I listened to one of them one day.  I think the title caught my eye or something like that, anyway, for whatever reason, I listened.  It was only 20 or 30 minutes long but by the time I was done listening, I was in tears!  At first it was just a little misty eyed moisture, but by the end of the video, I was in full melt down mode! So what did I do?  I watched another video by the same person, and another, and another, and another.  By the time I got done half my day was gone. But I was at once, happier, angrier and again happier that I had been for as long as I could remember.  Answers!  I had maybe, finally, found some answers! (The angry part was because of what I discovered in finding those answers.)

I'm 60+ years old and finally discovered why I have been unhappy and frustrated most of my life! I had to many narcissists in my life and was very codependent!  OUCH!  That was a bitter pill to swallow.  But swallow it I did and I began to heal. Some of you might have already read my first article about narcissism, "Enough Is Enough".   In a nut shell a narcissist is all about them, they're right, you're wrong and if you think otherwise or try to speak up for yourself for any reason, then there is something wrong with YOU, not them, never them.  And if you don't believe it, just ask them, they'll tell you how wrong you are.  They will call you names, belittle you in a hundred different ways and at the end of the the day, it's all your fault. Some of it is obvious, but the more dangerous stuff is not, it's very covert and very painful.  No matter what the problem or question is, it's your fault.  And codependents?  We buy this doodoo!  We think if we can just do everything possible to please them, they will finally like us, maybe even possibly love us?  Wow, what a load of hooey!  

But I don't want to write about the narcissists today.  Because my life isn't about them anymore.  My life is about me, about healing and about jumping. Yes, I said jumping, if you're not sure what I mean by that I encourage you to read my last article, "It's Time To Jump", and watch this video: Steve Harvey. Jumping to success.

In his video Mr. Harvey talks about what successful people do.  They jump! They jump, with a parachute and take a chance.  If you don't jump, if you don't take that chance, then you stay where you are, you never discover what you can do, you never discover the gifts and talents Elohim has placed within you.  If you don't jump, you can't fly!

When I wrote about jumping, I wasn't sure if I could jump, I was afraid to jump and I didn't think I knew how to jump.  Why?  Because of the self-doubt caused by codependency.  Because of constantly being told I was *less than* by the narcissists in my life.  But guess what, I'm not *less than*, I am enough and I can jump!  I'm not saying I'm not scared to jump.  That would be a lie.  But because of  my relationship with Elohim and the encouragement of some wonderful friends, especially Gloria, Josie, Crystal and Jonathon. I know I CAN jump!  I know I can heal, and I can find joy in  my life. I might not know exactly where I am jumping to, and I know I might get a few bumps and bruises along the way, (what are a few scrapes compared to where I've been?), but I can and I WILL jump! 

Let me just tell you very quickly about these friends I've mentioned and why I mentioned them, by name!

  

Gloria Q. is my sisterfriend for many years now. Gloria is a devoted wife and homeschooling mother of 3 intelligent and lively young people. She has been my biggest cheerleader, supporter, encourager, listener, and she's not afraid to tell me the truth when she needs to.  She (and her family) are super great at making me laugh and feel loved! I love sharing my life with her and her family.  I love being able to help her solve issues or give her ideas, because "I've been down that road before". We met when we were both supervisors for the same company, and we've been sisterfriends ever since.  Gloria is one of the best friends a person could ask for and she is one my very most favorite persons to hang out with! (and all of that is an understatement!)

Josie Jackson is a new friend and a good friend.  In spirit, we've known each other for a really long time!  She is easy to share with, full of great ideas and has answered so many health questions for me! Josie is a holistic practitioner and co-writer at Lanterns Buzz.  We bounce ideas off each other. We help each other finding information. We share some of the same dreams and goals (to help others be healthy and happy is at the top of the list), In fact, Josie was the sweet friend who sent me the Steve Harvey video when she knew I need a push to start making some changes!.  Thank you Josie. We are definitely going to "Do This Thing"!

Crystal McCann is also a new friend and co-writer at Lanterns.  She's given me wonderful advice and direction.  One of the most important things she said to me when I first started writing for Lanterns Buzz was, "absolutely you fit in!"  I had just been turned down by a major news organization because I wasn't political enough, and I was feeling more "iffy" than usual.  One of my favorite things that Crystal shares with us every day is "This Day In History", there is something interesting every day! She's crazy busy with both Lanterns and her other project "Madisons Media", but she still finds time to answer my questions, encourage me, and sometimes just chat!

Then there is my dear friend Jonathon Dunne and yes, you guessed it, he is also a co-writer and broadcaster at Lanterns Buzz, but I knew him long before I joined the Lanterns Team.  Ever since I've known Jonathon, a few years now, he has always encouraged me to be true to myself, which is why I'm here writing for Lanterns Buzz. When I told Jonathon about being turned down by the one group, he sent me here, to be a Lanterneer, so I could be myself! You need someone to make you laugh or make you think, he's the guy! Jonathon is also known as "Freedoms Disciple", he's from Ireland but loves our country, and knows more about the USA than most of us do!  And let me just say this, THANK YOU JONATHON!

Why did I share with you all that info about my friends?  Because they are an important part of who I am becoming.  Because if you don't have these kind of friends in your life who encourage you, are honest with you, and value your input into their lives, you need some!  Look for them, they are out there!  You need them!  Why mention them by name?  Because I want them to know how much I appreciate them and I want you to know they are very very real!  It's important you get that. 

Next question?  How will I do this?  Hey, one thing at a time! 

Just kidding. I'm just going to start jumping.  (Do you know how scary it is to share all my fears and weaknesses with you! Yikes! That's a big jump for me already!)

I'm going to watch more videos from my favorite teachers/speakers, including;

 Mel Robbins #5SecondRule, JJ Virgin, Nutrition and Fitness Expert, and Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach .

I'm going to take some chances on some new adventures and make some changes in my life. Changes that will be healthier for me on different levels, changes that will help me to help others do the same thing. Changes that I know are going to bring some peace and joy into my life.  I'm going to take better care of myself physically, emotionally, spiritually.  Yes, that means I am focusing on ME!  Be aware, the narcissists in your life will tell you this is pure selfishness.  For once they are right, it is selfish.  But it's a good kind of selfishness. If you have ever flown on any airlines and they give you the nice little safety talk at the beginning of the flight, they tell all the parents, put your own oxygen mask on first.  Well, that's what I'm doing, I can and will put my oxygen mask on first!  I can't help anyone else if I'm not happy and whole, or at least heading that direction!

Remember at the beginning I mentioned about "finding my yes"? There really was a reason for that. Josie's most recent article is about a road trip she took with her Dad and what he taught her about the value of asking questions, and how it's helped her to find her yes! He was right Josie. That's what I've been doing, asking questions. And in the process I'm I am finding my yes! I am finding the people and things that make me want to say "Yes, I want you to be a part of my life!", "Yes, you bring me peace and joy!"!

Yesterday I was talking to Josie on the phone, she was reading her newest article to me, (something we do often), and at the end she said she "wasn't sure what the ending should be".  Just as it's happened so many times, something one of us says gives the other an idea; her question gave me the ending to this article. What is it? Well, I'm glad you asked.  Why does there have to be an ending?  I guarantee this will not be the last article I write on this subject.  I don't want to have an ending.  I want to have a lot of new beginnings!  So get ready, I'm just beginning my journey in to the land of "I Can And I Will".  I hope you will join me, I hope we start jumping into new beginnings and find our YES!

You can read more like this @ Lanterns.Buzz  or on the Lanterns Buzz Facebook Group

It's Time to Jump

It's Time to Jump

posted by Anolagay Sonnenfelt • 4/9/2017

I’ve been silent for a few weeks, for a couple of reasons. Partly because I have been busy with some personal issues that require my full attention. Another part is, well, why I’m writing today. Because I know it’s time for me to jump, but I feel stuck, and I don’t know if I can jump.

I started writing several different articles over the last few weeks, but I wouldn’t get more than a few sentences and then I would get stuck. I didn’t know where to go with the rest of it, and I couldn’t figure out why.  Whether with the personal choices I needed to make, or with my writing. I continued to feel this way until I saw a Steve Harvey video a friend shared with me that was about #TimeToJump.

One of the posts I had been trying to write about was about the issues the VA Healthcare system seems to be having. Another post was about a current popular movie, ‘The Shack,’ that has caused some heated debate in the Christian community. Honestly, I don’t recall the other two, as I discarded my notes both online and on paper.

Allow me to say that not only was I not jumping, I was sitting on my tush, watching television, feeling sorry for myself, angry, and frustrated. My anger and frustration might be legitimate, (one of the personal issues I’ve been dealing with), but come on–I used to be able to handle anything! I raised three children by myself, with little to no child support, went to college while I was doing it, and made the Dean’s list at least once every year. My Dad has Alzheimer’s and was living with me for a little while. I’ve gone through the loss of a very dear friend. And I’m fighting some health issues of my own. So, why couldn’t I get it together long enough to finish an article?

Related: Instagram Direct Messages now disappear

It’s not like the VA Healthcare system or the issues surrounding the aforementioned movie aren’t important issues. So, what’s the problem? 

I then saw the video of Steve Harvey’s where Harvey speaks to his audience before his show and talks about what successful people commonly do. And what is that is that, you might ask?They jump. They don’t sit on their tushes, eating cookies, and watching TV, they jump in and do what’s important to them. They take the risk and jump in!

That was the problem. It’s not that those two issues aren’t important to me, but they aren’t what is really important to me. Next question. What is important to me?  Hmm, great question—a question that I don’t know if I can answer. Helping my family and friends is important to me. My relationship with Elohim is important to me. Helping other people is important to me. Being healthy, not being a burden to my family, doing the best job I can do with whatever I’m doing, all these things are important to me.

But what is really important to me? I’m 60-plus years old and still trying to figure that out.  Really?  Yes, really. Maybe it’s all the things I listed above, maybe I don’t have a clue.  Maybe that’s why I haven’t been able to write anything. If you look at the list above, everything seems to be about my relationship with others, but not about what lights my fire. What is it that brings me pleasure and makes me feel like I am doing something with my life? What is it that makes me feel alive and doesn’t depend on anyone else or their opinions or approvals?

So, here I am, trying to figure out what’s important to me. How many times have I written that phrase in the last few paragraphs? Too many, it seems. 

The other part of that question is: why am I afraid to jump? Wow, that’s a scary thought.  Why am I afraid? Am I too old? Am I too *plump*? Am I too broke? Am I too tired? Am I just plain scared?  And, if yes, of what? I don’t know the answer. That’s just another thing I’ll have to figure out.

So, here I am. I am being honest about my “stuckness,” my fear, my doubt.  Perhaps that is half the battle. I know something is broken, and I know I have to figure out what it is and how to fix it. 

I encourage you to be honest with yourself. If you already know the answers to all these questions, that’s great and I am honestly very happy for you. But a lot of us don’t know the answers to these questions. We haven’t figured it out.

Do you know what’s important to you? Not who you are and what you can do for others, but what’s important to just you? And if you do know (lucky you!), are you doing it? If not, why not? Please don’t wait until you are 60-plus years old to answer these questions, because it is painful. I wish someone had told me to jump when I was in my 20s. I wish someone had told me all the stuff I’m figuring out now, or figuring out that I need to figure it out.

Do yourself a big favor, figure out what is really important to you and know it’s #TimeToJump!

 "It's Time To Jump" can also be located at Lanterns Buzz

America's Younger Generation: Is it Any Wonder?

America's Younger Generation: Is it Any Wonder?

posted by Anolagay Sonnenfelt • 2/20/2017

I wonder, why are we so astonished when young people act selfishly and with total disregard for their fellow citizens when politicians and leaders do the very same thing, all the time?  Why should we expect anything different form our youth if our own politicians are greedy, selfish, and self-centered?

I don’t normally delve into discussing politics.  It’s not that I don’t care or that I don’t have an opinion, as I definitely do on both accounts.  I simply don’t believe politicians alone can or will make any significantly positive changes for our country.  I believe “we, the people” are the only ones that can change our nation by changing hearts and lives on a much more personal level.

Related: Instagram Direct Messages now disappear

That being said, I just might be dipping a toe, or maybe two, ever so lightly into the realm of politics today.

I read recently a post by Lanterns’ own Jonathon Dunne. On Facebook Jonathon wrote the following:

“I am confused about some of my friends on the right and their actions over the last few months and especially last 48 hours.

I am used to the "right" being the party of less taxes. Yet over the last 48 hours I have seen more posts in joy about this 20% tariff on Mexico...

Since when is the problem in America that there are not enough taxes for the ordinary people to pay. Since when is the problem that the government does not take enough revenue?

I am also troubled about the amount of people who think this is a tax on Mexico. It is not!!! It is a tax on the American people and a tax each of you will pay if you buy Mexican products.

PS. For those of you who read this post and think - Oh there goes John again with anti-Trump hate. Please know you are wrong.

I know why Trump wants it... My concern is why YOU are supporting it."

My first reaction to Jonathon's post about the 20% tariff on Mexico was to believe that our politicians will likely support this because "they can't think beyond their own wallets."  But then something else came to my mind.  I replied to Jonathon's comment saying, “and people are astonished when our youth are selfish and self-centered? Oh what a mess we have!"
Please understand I'm not speaking of all politicians or all the youth in our country.  I know there are politicians who care about our country and her citizens.  I know there are wonderful, intelligent, and kind youth in our country.  I'm very proud to include my grandchildren and other youth that I know personally in that group of young people who are not selfish or self-centered, who are respectful, caring, and giving.
Unfortunately, just like the politicians who "can't see beyond their own wallets," there are also too many young people who can't see beyond their own immediate wants or their misguided beliefs.  They listen only to the slanted media and political activists who want only one thing, to destroy our country and our way of life.  They riot and protest, and they seem to think violence is the solution to getting what they want. This is not that different from a 2-year-old throwing a tantrum.
FYI, this is not anything new.  These types of protests started back in the 60's.  For example, UC Berkely is the site of more than one of these protests, where then California Governor Reagan had to call in the National Guard. 
I don't have a problem with a peaceful protest. Sometimes protesting is a necessary step to change, but violent protests don't solve or change anything.  They only cause more violence.
Back to problem at hand, bad behavior from our youth. Why do we need to fix this problem?  That question is easy to answer: These young people will be our politicians and leaders of the future.

But how do we fix this problem?

Consequences. Obviously we have to have consequences for our actions, at 2 years old throwing a tantrum, at 20 years and protesting on campus or in the streets, and at 40 years old as politician or leader that doesn’t look out for the best interests of those they are responsible to and for.  Consequences. But that is another subject for another day, and I shouldn't even have to go there.

There's another equally important part to so"lving this behavior problem: Our young people need to be reached on a more personal level.  We cannot depend on the government, politicians, political activists, schools or, in some cases, not even their parents to show our young people what acceptable behavior looks like.  It comes right back to what I said earlier: If we want to change their lives, we have to change their hearts.  Then we will change the people and change our country.

It starts with us.
Do I have all the answers? No. I can only do what I can do. You can only do what you can do. But that's how it starts. One word, one act of kindness, one heart, one life, one person at a time. Truthfully, it won't happen overnight. It will take time, and patience and kindness and truth!
What are we waiting for? Let's start changing some hearts!

 "America's Younger Generation: Is It Any Wonder?" can also be located at Lanterns Buzz

Our Younger Generation: Is it Any Wonder?

I wonder, why are we so astonished when young people act selfishly and with total disregard for their fellow citizens when politicians and leaders do the very same thing, all the time?  Why should we expect anything different form our youth if our own politicians are greedy, selfish, and self-centered?

I don’t normally delve into discussing politics.  It’s not that I don’t care or that I don’t have an opinion, as I definitely do on both accounts.  I simply don’t believe politicians alone can or will make any significantly positive changes for our country.  I believe “we, the people” are the only ones that can change our nation by changing hearts and lives on a much more personal level.

That being said, I just might be dipping a toe, or maybe two, ever so lightly into the realm of politics today.
 

I read recently a post by Lanterns’ own Jonathon Dunne. On Facebook Jonathon wrote the following:

“I am confused about some of my friends on the right and their actions over the last few months and especially last 48 hours.

I am used to the "right" being the party of less taxes. Yet over the last 48 hours I have seen more posts in joy about this 20% tariff on Mexico...

Since when is the problem in America that there are not enough taxes for the ordinary people to pay. Since when is the problem that the government does not take enough revenue?

I am also troubled about the amount of people who think this is a tax on Mexico. It is not!!! It is a tax on the American people and a tax each of you will pay if you buy Mexican products.

PS. For those of you who read this post and think - Oh there goes John again with anti-Trump hate. Please know you are wrong.

I know why Trump wants it... My concern is why YOU are supporting it."

My first reaction to Jonathon's post about the 20% tariff on Mexico was to believe that our politicians will likely support this because "they can't think beyond their own wallets."  But then something else came to my mind.  I replied to Jonathon's comment saying, “and people are astonished when our youth are selfish and self-centered? Oh what a mess we have!"
Please understand I'm not speaking of all politicians or all the youth in our country.  I know there are politicians who care about our country and her citizens.  I know there are wonderful, intelligent, and kind youth in our country.  I'm very proud to include my grandchildren and other youth that I know personally in that group of young people who are not selfish or self-centered, who are respectful, caring, and giving.

Unfortunately, just like the politicians who "can't think beyond their own wallets," there are also too many young people who can't see beyond their own immediate wants or their misguided beliefs.  They listen only to the slanted media and political activists who want only one thing, to destroy our country and our way of life.  They riot and protest, and they seem to think violence is the solution to getting what they want. This is not that different from a 2-year-old throwing a tantrum.

 


FYI, this is not anything new.  These types of protests started back in the 60's.  For example, UC Berkely is the site of more than one of these protests, where then California Governor Reagan had to call in the National Guard. 

I don't have a problem with a peaceful protest. Sometimes protesting is a necessary step to change, but violent protests don't solve or change anything.  They only cause more violence.
Back to problem at hand, bad behavior from our youth. Why do we need to fix this problem? 

That question is easy to answer: These young people will be our politicians and leaders of the future.

But how do we fix this problem? 

Consequences. Obviously we have to have consequences for our actions, at 2 years old throwing a tantrum, at 20 years and protesting on campus or in the streets, and at 40 years old as politician or leader that doesn’t look out for the best interests of those they are responsible to and for.  Consequences. But that is another subject for another day, and I shouldn't even have to go there.

There's another equally important part to solving this behavior problem: Our young people need to be reached on a more personal level.  We cannot depend on the government, politicians, political activists, schools or, in some cases, not even their parents to show our young people what acceptable behavior looks like.  It comes right back to what I said earlier: If we want to change their lives, we have to change their hearts.  Then we will change the people and change our country.

It starts with us.

Do I have all the answers? No. I can only do what I can do. You can only do what you can do. But that's how it starts. One word, one act of kindness, one heart, one life, one person at a time. Truthfully, it won't happen overnight. It will take time, and patience and kindness and truth!
What are we waiting for? Let's start changing some hearts!

 More articles like this can be found @www.lanterns.buzz