Monday, March 31, 2014

SERIOUSLY? WRITERS BLOCK??

writers block......

Ugh, I hate having writer's block.  I wish I understood why it happens?  Is it because my spirit is tired?  That's it I think.  My spirit is tired.  Why? Why is my spirit tired?  Is it because of the stress? is it because of all the unknowns in my life?  Is it because of lonliness?

whatever is causing my writer's block, how do I make it go away? 
Going to sleep early, get some rest and get up early tomorrow. Spend time with Yahuah. Take care of bills and some other things that I want to do. Make tomorrow count for something!

then maybe I can get rid of my writer's block

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

can't go swimming because it's still to cold out

I don't know what it is for certain, but I have a heavy heart today.  For the world, for my friends and family?  for myself?

So many things I want to do, so many "limitations", some of my own making, ok, well probably most of my own making in one way or another.  Some limitations are place by others, some by circumstances (can't go swimming because it's still to cold out, LOL)

The one thing i haven't done, that i will be doing before the end of this week is finishing my story blog.     Then after that i'm going to write a story and try to get it sold, maybe on amazon?  maybe a magazine?  who knows.....  

way to much on my mind and i'm exhausted!

am i distracted????   i guess you could say that!  LOL




Saturday, March 15, 2014

Yahuah's Rest, Peace & Presence

Earlier today I received the following email from wonderful and sweet sisterfriend Lora Skeahan:

Shabbat Shalom!

Genesis 23
The Death of Sarah
Joshua 10, 11 
(Joshua and Israel defeat the kings of the Anakim)
2 Samuel 5 
(David anointed King in Hebron)
John Chapter 2

Sarah dies after living 127 years, and Abraham mourns for her. 
Qiryath Arba is where she died. This place and this word is "The City of Arba" 
The word qiryath comes from the idea of "flooring" so it gives us the idea of a clearing out or clearing off place like what even we do today when preparing a land for building. We clear it off, cut down trees and things and level it out. This is qiryath --- and it was somewhat synonymous with city for this reason. 
Now arba most often means "4" it can mean four, forty, four hundred, fourth, four-squared, etc. 

What is interesting here, is that in Joshua 14:15, 15:13, and 21:11 we are told that Arba was the father of Anaq of the race of giants the Anakim. 

We are told in verse 2 of our portion that Qiryath Arba is the same city that later became Hebron for the Israelites (Hebrews) and it was located in the land of Kena'an. In the following verses we find out that this land is owned by the sons of Heth. 

So let's stop right there and find out who these people are, where they came from and find out what is going on. We know that there are no words in Scripture that are wasted. Information is not in there just for the story-telling... it is all there to help us understand the past, present, future and to answer the questions of why, when, where, how and all the rest. 

So we have the "City of Arba" in the land of Kena'an. The sons of Heth. Abraham and Sarah have been sojourners through there and Sarah dies there. 
From Genesis Chapter 10 verse 6:
And the sons of Ham: Kush (Babel), Mitsrayim (Egypt), and Put (Libya), and Kena'an (Palestine)

Genesis 10:15 
And Kena'an brought forth Tsidon his first-born, and Heth, [16] and the Yebusite, and the Amortie, and the Girgashite, and the Hiwwite, and the Arqite, and the Sinite, and the Arwadite, and the Tsemarite, and the Mamathite. And afterward the clans of the Kena'anites were spread abroad.

So... this land where Sarah died and Abraham obtains by purchase a burial place for her belongs to the sons of Heth. Heth was a son of Kena'an. Kena'an was the fourth son of Ham. I am going to go out on a limb here and surmise that Arba is Kena'an and when Joshua tells us that Arba was the father of Anak or Anaq that this Arba is literally Kena'an, son of Ham. 

The name Heth in Hebrew means "terror" and Heth is the father of the Hittites. The name Heth comes from the word: 
chathath {khaw-thath'} a primitive root; TWOT - 784; v AV - dismayed 27, afraid 6, break in pieces 6, broken 3, break down 2, abolished 1, affrighted 1, amazed 1, chapt 1, confound 1, discouraged 1, go down 1, beaten down 1, scarest 1, terrify 1; 54 1) to be shattered, be dismayed, be broken, be abolished, be afraid 1a) (Qal) 1a1) to be shattered, be broken 1a2) to be dismayed 1b) (Niphal) to be broken, be dismayed 1c) (Piel) to be shattered, be dismayed, be scared 1d) (Hiphil) 1d1) to cause to be dismayed 1d2) to dismay, terrify 1d3) to shatter

The Hittites were the people who developed into one of the early great kingdoms and they inhabited northern present day Syria, Lebanon, and southwestern Turkey. As they changed and migrated and spread about --- if traced out by emblems, flags, symbolism and all the rest, they are today Germans. 

Anyway back to our portion. It is interesting that during this time how respected and held in high regard Abraham was in the sight of these Hittites and sons of Heth. Also of note is that Abraham, although he knew the land was promised to him by inheritance from Yahauah Himself... insisted on purchasing the land for silver. These Hittites were great merchants. The wisdom of Abraham in this matter of insisting on purchasing this land cannot be overstated! How many of us know that the slave is borrower to the lender and when something is "given" from merchants there is always a "catch"
I am sure Abraham was also well aware of this and he was not going to be put into that position with these people. No, he was going to buy the property outright and not be beholden to these people for anything. 

Joshua 10, 11
As you read this portion in Joshua, recall that these are the same people that the Israelites saw when they spied out the Promised Land after coming out of Egypt and they were so terrified of them that they failed to go in and take the land as per Yahuah's instructions. This fear and lack of belief in Yahuah cost them 40 years of wandering in the wilderness, they died in the wilderness, and failed to enter into the rest Yahuah had prepared for them. 

2 Samuel 
David is anointed King of Judah and rules from Hebron for 7 years before being anointed King over all Israel. 

John 2
I chose this portion because it seemed to related to "merchants, money changers, etc" and how our Messiah and Father feel about this type of thing. It is a type of spirit of Ham, Kena'an, Heth, and all the rest. Merchants, always concerned with money, buying and selling, etc. Building cities, merchandizing, enslaving people by usury and burdens of interest and things like that. 

Hope and pray you all are blessed. If anyone ever has any insight, comments, or questions... please write and share. We would love to hear from you. We are sooooo very thankful that last week's portion was a blessing to you. It gave us great great joy to know that. 

Love Always and Yahuah bless you richly always and even more than that ---- May YOU be a blessing unto Him!
Lora

************************

here is my reply:

Yes, I purposely selected reply to all, (which I wouldn't normally do, since I don't know everyone on this distribution list). I had selected reply only to Lora, when I felt Yahuah's gentle nudge in my spirit, to reply to all. (I hope it's ok with you Lora?) so here goes...

I work for one of those money changer, lender, usery merchants.  when I finally escaped my egypt (an abusive marriage), I went into the desert (healing), and out of fear of the money changers, (fear of not getting a job, residue from the marriage) I took a job that paid the bills, and for a time I enjoyed it.  HOWEVER, as Yahuah has been calling me to the Sabbath, to his truth and rest, I have become less and less and less and less satisfied with my job, and even less rested.  as a supervisor I'm sometimes required to work on Saturday, on the Sabbath.  My spirit is restless because of this, that's the best way I can describe it.  as I learn more and more about keeping the Sabbath and the Sabbatical years, I'm finding it more and more difficult to work where I work and especially working on the Sabbath.  I had never really considered looking for another job before, but as things grow worse at work, (silly changes that make no sense, and actually make it harder for us), as Yahuah draws me closer, I've been thinking about it, seriously. 
tonight was the clincher. 

thankfully last night, Lora, Charlie, our little group, and myself, met to study the Torah portion for this week.  so that helped me get through today as I had to work, at that money changer place (ugh).  (btw, don't get me wrong, in our economy I'm grateful to have a job, I just don't know that it's the job for me anymore)  I even stayed late to help out on the phone.

when I finally got home, out of habit I put my keys & my bag in the chair, and started to reach for the remote, a little "unwinding time" I said to myself.  once again, I felt his nudging in my spirit, "rest". by this time I had clicked the on button on the remote, felt a little stronger nudging and  then I remembered, it wasn't a regular day, it was the Sabbath.  I clicked the off button on the remote, and sat down to read the email Lora sent us.  
O my!!  Did His words ever speak to me!  I am tired of being afraid of the money changers!  I'm tired of being tired!  it's time to stop being afraid and stop being tired.  it's time to trust Yahuah, it's time to find my rest in Him! 
(and I think I was one of those last night talking about sacrifices we have to make, since we don't do the animal sacrifices anymore.... instead we sacrifice things like TV time, not purchasing things we don't need, taking time to help a friend, for sacrificing our personal time? etc.  yep, I'm pretty sure that was my mouth doing the yapping!)

As I write this I find His Spirit & Wisdom already strengthening me, and encouraging me to begin a job search.  as I trust HiM to guide me the right direction, I find myself even more restful already.

so for the rest of this evening until the Sabbath is complete at sundown, I'm resting, physically, (no doing the dishes, yay!), mentally (no tv), emotionally, (no phone calls or 'social media') & spiritually, (reading His Scriptures & praying).  there's not much of the Sabbath left so I better get busy resting! 

Since I'm not sure why I was supposed to share this with everyone, or at least I felt like I should have, I hope this blessed someone besides myself! 

thank you again for sharing Lora! 

BLESSINGS &
SHABBAT SHALOM!!

Anolagay

Thanks Lora!  It's AMAZING how He honored what little time I had to give (but I gave with all my heart), by filling the time I gave Him, with His Presence, His Peace, His REST!!  I don't know quite how to explain it, except to say I've reached a tipping point.  in a good way.

SHALOM!

**********************

understand, I don't mean to say that I'm quitting right now, just thinking about it.  only that I'm beginning the looking process, and I still have a lot of praying to do before I make any kind of decision at all. 

Saturday, March 8, 2014

being obedient to His calling

I just finished reading the Torah portion for this week.  While I am not free to share how I was blessed by the reading of His Scriptures, let me just say this.  Learning to live and keep the Sabbath and Set Apart Times, has changed my life in ways I can't explain.  

I am so thankful for hearing His voice when Yahuah called me and for His help in my being obedient to His calling.  His blessings are deep and true!


time for a conversation with my very best Friend in the entire universe

Choices.   We all make multiple choices everyday.  What to eat & what to wear are the most common and simplest of choices we make every day.   But there are more choices we make everyday and some we do so automatically we aren't even aware of them.  For example, to drink my coffee at home or go through the drive through on my way to work, to ask my operations manager something or just do it, to tell him something or not.  how to say something to one of my agents.  to call a friend at lunch or after work.  Sometimes the choices are made for us by limitations of our budget, or time constraints, or.......

Something I realized yesterday, I've gotten out of the habit of making choices without asking my Creator, Yahuah, for advice.   and then I wonder why things get to be a mess.  I know some people would tell me, don't bother Him with such a little stuff, He has more important things to take care of.  Really?  He knows how many hairs we have on our head at any given point in time.  I'd say he cares about the little things.  In fact, His word TELLS us we are not to worry about what we should eat or wear, He will take care of us!

So why then do I forget to ask Him for help, for direction, for advice?  Is it laziness, habit, pride?  I think it's probably a combination of these & maybe more I'm not aware of.  

My next question is how do I fix this?  and oooooops, there I go again, asking myself how to fix my own mistake.  I'm asking the wrong person.  Time for prayer, time for a conversation with my very best Friend in the entire universe, the Creator of the universe and of myself.   

SHABBAT SHALOM




Tuesday, March 4, 2014

At the moment, I realllly want some chocolate!

Tired, I'm so very tired, and I'm tired of being tired.  I'm tired of not having enough time to relax and enjoy life.  I'm tired of spending every waking hour at work.  Don't get me wrong.  I enjoy helping others, and I'll always try to do my best for those I'm responsible for (& to, to a certain extent).  But sometimes, sometimes I just want to have some time for me?  

I want some time to just sit and read, or write, or walk by the lake, or do absolutely nothing at all, or better yet, just spend some time with my Creator, Yahuah.  Time to just sit and talk to Him,  Nothing special, not asking for anything other than just His presence.  

I want some time to spend in a long luxurious bubble bath with a book that doesn't require me to think to much.  (I don't read those silly unrealistic romance novels, I prefer a good murder mystery, especially if it's a Tamar Myers, in her "Pennsylvania Dutch" and "Den of Antiquities" series she somehow manages to add a wee bit of humor also!

I want some time to not have to rush anywhere, worry about anything, get ready for whatever.  

At the moment, I realllly want some chocolate!  And there's none in the house.  I'm too tired to drive to Sonic for a hot fudge sunday, even though it's right down the road.  Besides, I need to be getting ready for bed so I can get up early for work tomorrow.  See what I mean, always getting ready to do something, go somewhere.  

There is so much happening around the world, and my heart aches for all the innocents that are injured or at or disadvantaged because of all the unrest and removal of human rights by dictators around the world.   My *troubles* seem so petty compared to what others are going through right now.  But still, they are my troubles, and I have to own them.  I was speaking with someone tonight and said something that didn't really register with myself, not even when i was the one saying it.  "I know where I want and need to be, I know how to get there, now I just need to get moving the right direction!"  

In other words, time to stop wanting and start doing, or in some cases, NOT DOING (resting)!!

Wow, I'm so good at imagining it in my head, I just need to take it from imagination to reality.  

But in the mean time, I need some rest, I can barely keep my eyes open, in fact they are slightly crossing as i write this.   

That's it!!  LIGHTS OUT FOR ME.  Everyone be blessed.  

SHALOM!