Abiding in His Grace, His Shalom Peace

Do y'all realize tomorrow ends September & Tuesday will begin the last quarter of this year?  I'm sitting here trying to think what I've really accomplished this year.  Is my life any "better"  than it was in January or this time last year?  How has my life changed?  What's better about it?   What's changed is easy, things at work have changed, the hours I work, the team I work with has changed 4 X's, I'm driving a different car.  I've lost a little more weight (but not nearly enough to make my Dr or myself happy).  I've been able to take 1 vacation & spend it with my kids in east Texas, (that was fun!) & because I've had my hours changed I've been able to spend more time with my kids that live more local.  I wish I could say I had spent more time with my daughter in Nebraska, but sadly it's too far away.  I have made some new friends at work (Lora & Staci!) who are helping me to learn new things about the Torah & the Messianic Church.  I've also made another friend who is easy to talk to and very helpful when it comes to work issues. (thanks Juan).  
But all in all I'm still doing the same old thing.  Going to work, coming home, going to work, coming home, going to work, coming home......   sometimes adding church in there (more frequently since I switched to a more GRACE based church) & spending more time with family of course.  I always enjoy when I can spend time with my kids & grandkids.  

So, what's my point?  

Just this, for the next 3 months it is my goal to spend at least 15 minutes every day doing something fun, determining the *fun* maybe a little more difficult, but I'm going to do it.  Why?  Because I need to get off the *going to work, coming home, going to work, coming home* treadmill.  I need to have more in my life.  
Starting tonight, I'm going to find the murder mystery book at Hastings & finish reading it.  Well not finish it all tonight, but start reading it again to finish it.  

I'm also going to take better care of myself, eat healthier, get more exorcise, get more sleep, etc.  

And most importantly, I'm going to spend more time with my Abba!  I just want to talk to him & hear His voice!  maybe not audibly, but you know what I mean.

By the end of this year I want my life to be happier, more fulfilling, & more peaceful.  Just as He has already spoken into my
Do y'all realize tomorrow ends September & Tuesday will begin the last quarter of this year?  I'm sitting here trying to think what I've really accomplished this year.  Is my life any "better"  than it was in January or this time last year?  How has my life changed?  What's better about it?   What's changed is easy, things at work have changed, the hours I work, the team I work with has changed 4 X's, I'm driving a different car.  I've lost a little more weight (but not nearly enough to make my Dr or myself happy).  I've been able to take 1 vacation & spend it with my kids in east Texas, (that was fun!) & because I've had my hours changed I've been able to spend more time with my kids that live more local.  I wish I could say I had spent more time with my daughter in Nebraska, but sadly it's too far away.  I have made some new friends at work (Lora & Staci!) who are helping me to learn new things about the Torah & the Messianic Church.  I've also made another friend who is easy to talk to and very helpful when it comes to work issues. (thanks Juan).  

But all in all I'm still doing the same old thing.  Going to work, coming home, going to work, coming home, going to work, coming home......   sometimes adding church in there (more frequently since I switched to a GRACE based church) & spending more time with family of course.  I always enjoy when I can spend time with my kids & grandkids.  

So, what's my point?  

Just this, for the next 3 months it is my goal to spend at least 15 minutes every day doing something fun, determining the *fun* maybe a little more difficult, but I'm going to do it.  Why?  Because I need to get off the *going to work, coming home, going to work, coming home* treadmill.  I need to have more in my life.  
Starting tonight, I'm going to find the murder mystery book at Hastings & finish reading it.  Well not finish it all tonight, but start reading it again to finish it.  

I'm also going to take better care of myself, eat healthier, get more exorcise, get more sleep, etc.  

And most importantly, I'm going to spend more time with my Abba!  I just want to talk to him & hear His voice!  maybe not audibly, but you know what I mean.

By the end of this year I want my life to be happier, more fulfilling, & more peaceful.  Just as He has already spoken into my life that He wants me to worry less, to rest in His Shalom Peace, His Grace, that's what I desire.  His Shalom Peace, His Grace.  Nothing missing, nothing broken, nothing out of place, receiving unmerited favour & unexpected blessings!   

By abiding in His Grace, His Shalom Peace, I will have more of Him to share with others, especially my family & friends!  & that's my ultimate goal, to be closer to Him & have more of Him to give to others!  I believe that is what He has called me to do in whatever time we have left to share His love with others.

Thank you for listening to my ramblings, & I hope this encourages you to do whatever it is He has called you to do. 


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please know you, my readers, are always welcomed & encouraged to please leave helpful hints, questions, etc.
thanks! 

Past my bed time!!

would someone please tell me how it got to be past midnight already?  Ooooooops. 
Good night, sweet dreams and God bless!!!

HOMESICK

on Thursday, driving back from watching my granddaughter cheerlead the Jr High football game, the drive seem to take much longer than it should have.  As if someone had literally stretched the road out an extra 15 miles or more.  it seemed surreal.  I've driven that road I don't know how many hundreds of times.  and it seemed to just go on and on and on and on and on!  It was as if I had never driven that road ever before.  I don't know how to even explain the experience adequately, except to say, it was surreal.  by the time I got home I was so exhausted, yet I could not sleep because the eexperience had shaken me so much!  I knew I was supposed to learn something from it, but what?
I've had other similar experiences, standing outside my apartment looking at the traffic go by, and it all seems so unfamiliar, as though I were a stranger just passing through and stopping for the night & waking the next morning to more unfamiliar traffic passing by on the road in front of me.  other times it's been just a moment of going into a building, or talking to someone, and it just seems strange as though I have never done it before and yet I know I have.
so what was the lesson learned?  it took me awhile to put it all together.  (first of all checking to make sure I hadn't lost my mind, hahaha).  but then I realized, the reason why these insistences seem to be increasing in frequency is because I am becoming more and more aware of how this earth is only a temporary home.  how many times I've written in my journal or told a friend how I seem to be more homesick for Heaven all the time.
NO, I have not lost my mind, and I believe that God is not done teaching me a lesson in all of this.
part of it is, because I stress so much over details and getting everything just right, at work, with my family, with everything.  I believe God is trying to show me how temporary all this is, and stop worrying about it and let Him take care of the details, let Him take care of it all.
what I continually hear from God, from my Abba, is to let His light shine in & through me by just being joyfull in His presence, no matter where I am or what I'm doing, even when I'm by myself.   stop worrying so much. &,  it's ok to be homesick for Heaven, it's a good thing.

Future Plans..... HOPE!!

if I could just understand puppy dog tail wags

I'm trying to write from my cell phone. Kaci, my fearless, four legged, furry, companion, has either decided to help me or is trying to tell me that he needs my attention instead of my cell phone!  oh how I wish I could read puppy dog tail wags!!  if I could, I'm pretty sure he would tell me that throwing the bone for him is way more important than Facebook, taking him outside to investigate the remains of the neighbors barbecue (in case they dropped anything) is way more important than reading emails, and making sure his food and water bowls are filled up, definitely take precedence over even writing this blog!!  He's a sweet non judgemental, always loves me pal!  Hmmmm, I think I'm ending this for tonight, and going to pull him up on my lap, scratch his ears and watch the last few minutes of Castle, all while telling him what a good little puppy he is and what a great friend he is!  Thank you also to Gloria & Johnny, Lora, Staci, Dina, Nancy, Juan for also being good friends!  (but I'm not scratching any of you behind your ears, LOL, though I might buy you an ice tea!)
:-D

ECC 8:15 "So I recommend having fun....."

ECC 8:15  "So I recommend having fun....."



So, I've started writing about 5 times, and each time I get about 12 words into it & realize it doesn't make any sense.  It was all pointless "jibber jabber".  Why?  Because I haven't really, not REALLY, spent any REAL time with my Very Best Friend, my Lord & Saviour & (the) Holy Spirit.  In fact, maybe that's why my head feels foggy, all I've done all day is think *work* thoughts.  Not that it's a bad thing to think about work, it's something I need to do.  While I'm at work.   But I need to learn to disconnect once I leave work and CONNECT WITH GOD!  I look back at what I've done this evening, and mostly it was a whole lot of nothing.  Messed around on the computer, took my Kaci out to do is doodle stuff, ate some supper (ate things I shouldn't have & now I feel yucky).

I remember hearing "all work & no play makes Jane a dull girl" or something like that when I was growing up.   Did you know there's an actual scripture about having fun?  ECC8.15.NLT "So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them under the sun."   I always seem to be weighed down with all the work I have to do, but other than visiting with my kids & playing with my grandkids, I don't really get out & have any fun.  I go to Bible studies, talk with friends.  But I can't remember the last time I just had fun for no reason.   ooops, I can, I went to see Iron Man 3 with a friend, Despicable Me 2 with my grandkids & the newest Star Trek movie in 3D with my son & granddaughter.  But when did I last have fun, just by myself, for no reason at all other than to have fun.  (& that doesn't include watching DUCK DYNASTY on tv, no matter how funny they are & how much I enjoy the show! LOL)  But truly, I need to get out of the house & find something to do that's fun!  

Tomorrow I have some studying I HAVE to do for a course I need to certify in for work, (should have done it tonight but ....... )  Thursday is for watching my granddaughter cheerlead at a football game.  That will be fun.  Friday I need to do something fun, just for the sake of having fun.  but what to do?  

Abba, I need some ideas, what would you have me do that would be fun, clean, wholesome and OUTSIDE the house for at least an hour!   (& CHEAP OR FREE!)

Exhaustion has set in.  I find my Rest in Him.  Confusion creeps in, I seek His Wisdom.   Fear tries to push me down, His Faith (not mine, but His) lifts me up.  Sadness sometimes tries to swallow me up, His Joy fills me up.  Anger stirs up feelings of inferiority, hatred, judgement.  His Peace provides feelings of confidence of who I am in Him, love, acceptance.  

 

Have you ever had so many thoughts running through your brain at once it's like there's a really bad football game being played?  

Thinking about my children & grandchildren. Thinking about a couple of my friends that I'm worried about.  Thinking about all the stuff going on @ work, not necessarily bad stuff, but just a lot of stuff that I need to get done. Thinking about things I need to get done here at home.

What really bothers me is that I put it all in God's hands and then I take it out again, like somehow I can't trust Him to get the job done?  I'm trying to balance what I know I need to do to get some of these things done with trusting God to take care of the end result, like I KNOW He can!  I know He can because He's proven Himself over & over & over again.  Very recently I asked only for one thing, He went over & above what I asked for!  

So what's the problem with just doing what I need to do & then letting go?  Is there something going on in the spiritual atmosphere I'm not aware of?  I am reminded of what I told my friend last night about just being His (God's) child and let Him be Abba!  I know it sounds a little simplistic, but I really believe that's how Abba, Papa God, wants us to be with Him.  That child like, trusting nature between a little girl & her daddy.  Even now as I write this, I find tears welling up in my eyes.  I love my children, & grandchildren, so very much, sometimes my heart aches I miss them so much when they aren't around.   Still, I can't begin to love my children & grandchildren even close to how much God loves me.  I want to make Him proud of me, but most of all I just want to be His little girl & let Him take care of me, trust Him to take care of me, to provide, protect & love me as only my Abba can.   

Am I over simplifying this?  Maybe?  Does it mean I can just sit back & do nothing?  Which is better, over thinking something or over simplifying something?   So for the rest of the night I think I will relax & just chill.  Spend some time with God after I finish tidying the house & fixing the toilet. (flush handle broke) & tomorrow, after church, I will get busy with my homework (2 different projects for work).  Tonight I just want to feel my Abba's presence, just relax with Him & enjoy His presence in whatever I do.  

& not think!

I recently shared this with a friend "you might be thinking about it too much, stop thinking so much, just breathe, enjoy & follow Him!! A child doesn't sit around thinking about why does my daddy love me, or how can he love me so much, or I wonder what he meant when he said this, or I wonder how I can figure out_____. not to say that we shouldn't ever think about things, but sometimes we overthink things. sometimes we should just let God be God and do what He wants to do in us, through us and for us!
I think that's why his word says we are to come to Him like a little child.

Shabbat Shalom

Tired, that's WHAT I am, grama, mom, daughter, sister, friend, coach. That's WHAT I am.

But none of these are WHO I am.  So WHO am I then?

I am a person who when she loves, she loves deeply.  I am a person who enjoys reading, writing, walking, riding horses, playing with my grandkids, visiting with my family and friends, spending time alone, & especially, spending time with God!
I can admit I'm not perfect, I make mistakes. sometimes my mistakes our little, sometimes big, hopefully my mistakes & sins get littler & littler over time.  but I know I'm also forgiven when it does happen.

I am someone who enjoys trying new activities, foods, experiences, & challenges, (within legal, moral, and now at the age of 59, some physical limits).  I'm okay with laughing, crying, happy, quiet, sometimes being angry, sad, not a big fan of fear......

but right now, I mostly just tired.

SO, good night, God bless and sweet dreams!!

Just say'n!

(I'm tired, and a little cranky, cuz I'm tired)

what's that old saying, "another day another dollar"?

I don't think I like that.  here's why.  my day is not just about dollars!

my day is about, did I talk to someone I love today and tell them I love them?  did I help someone out just because they needed the help and  not because I could get something out of it.  did I do my job,  above and beyond what was just expected of me?  did I do something nice for someone, without recognition, without them knowing about it?  did I compliment someone today?  did I spend time with God in prayer & reading/studying His Word?  did I do something fun?

I might not do all of these things in one given day.  but I'd rather this was what my day was about, and not just dollars! even if I only do just one of those things!!

that's it for me, I'm out of here. I hope y'all will excuse any spelling, grammar, etc errors. I am doing this from my phone for the first time.

BE BLESSED, SHALOM!

Love this!

 It really captures much of what I'm experiencing in His presence, more & more every day!

I haven't written since February? REALLY?????

SORRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY.  I don't know if I'm apologizing to my *few* readers (i imagine most have abandoned me by now, I would have).  So, I'll just start all over! 

:-D

I'm not even going to look back at what I wrote last time I was here. 

Much has changed in the last few months, changed my schedule at work, changed church's, changed some *friendships*, changed some priorities.   

Much has changed in *the church*, or what's left of it.  One of the reasons I changed to a different church was it didn't seem to be about Yeshua any longer.  It seemed to be more about, 5 ways to save your marriage, 10 ways to avoid stress.....  If I want a self-help book I'll go to a library or book store.  It also seemed to be more about some new program they had going and who had paid enough to tithes to qualify for usher or door greeter.  & Heaven forbid if you asked if there was a Bible Study during the day for people who worked at night, or did they have any program for senior singles?   I never felt so out of place!   
Anyway, so I changed to a more Grace based church, with more emphasis on who Jesus really is & what He really *came to earth* for.  I also found a small group of Messianic believers, I feel like I've come to life again!  Well, it's more like we all found each other, no, it's more like God brought us together! 

Much has changed in our nation, or what's left of it. It's impossible to know who to believe any more.  I know I don't believe anything the dem's or rep's have to say, still not sure of the tea partiers or libertarians or .......    And as far as the media is concerned, can't trust them either.  At least not the mainstream media.  I find myself leaning more towards media I find online & Utube.  Even that.......

The one and only part of my life that hasn't changed, that I KNOW I can completely trust is Jesus, Yeshua, Elohim, my Abba!  I find myself drawn to Him, His Word, Holy Spirit, His Beauty & Grace, His Peace, His Promises, His Love & Forgiveness, more than anything I'm drawn to His Holiness & His Presence!

I know if anyone ever reads my *blog* (don't we have a better word for this yet?, I don't like that word, it sounds, I don't know, yucky?) anyway, if anyone ever reads this again, I’m sure I will have my share of critics.   And, that's ok, we are all entitled to our opinions!   All I'm doing here is expressing my opinions, my ideas, my thoughts.  If I happen to inspire someone, or at least just cause them to think twice about something, okeedokee then.  If someone wants to comment, please feel free to do so, but please keep it clean & polite.  

This world is already topsy turvy enough, all I want to do in anything He gives me to do is to let His light shine through me!  It doesn't mean I'm perfect, but I am His daughter, and that alone makes me pretty special as far as my Abba is concerned.  & His is the only opinion I really care about.  (Sorry if that steps on anyone's toes.....)

Time for me to sign off & I promise I'll try to write more often, maybe not daily, but I'll try daily,  but at least weekly?  

God bless y'all & sweet dreams!

Shalom!