Moments

We are more than just getting up and going to work and coming home and repeating that day after day after day. We are more then paying bills, doing dishes and laundry, mowing the lawn, sitting and watching TV. We are more than just existing.
I don't know about you, but I don't want to just exist. I want to live. I mean really live. I want to be aware of every moment and enjoy every possible moment that I can.
About a week ago I was coming home from my sister-friend Gloria's house, where I had shared a Shabbat dinner with her, her children and a family friend. It was later in the evening tn what I had planned for driving home. I don't like driving at night. When I left I had just enough time to get home before dark. As soon as I got outside of town, something came over me and I shut off the radio. It seemed like all it was doing was just making noise. Suddenly I became overwhelmed with the quiet of the evening. It wasn't that it was a physical kind of quiet, I mean after all the car was still making noise since the engine was on and I was traveling on a highway that had a sort of rough surface.
The sky was a gentle, soft blue, and I could see the sun setting in the west. There wasn't a single cloud anywhere and you could just begin to see a star or two peeking into the sky towards the east.
No, it was a different kind of quiet. An emotional or spiritual kind of quiet.  The quiet I heard was within my own spirit. It was a quiet of being in the moment. I can't count the number of times I have driven the same road and never felt this emotion before. Usually I listen to the radio or cd and just travel down the road, not giving a thought to my surroundings or anything else. Just watching the other vehicles on the road, watching for deer in the ditches, and wanting only to get home.
This evening was different. I don't know if it was because of sharing a wonderful evening with my friends, or because of things I've been thinking about lately, but whatever it was it felt comfortable and peaceful. I was aware of my thoughts, I was aware of the enormity of the sky and my physical presence in comparison. It was all just so comfortable and so sweet. It was a sudden and quiet sense of belonging in the universe. I wasn't just existing. I was alive. I suddenly realized, I mattered. I was not an insignificant part of universe, but I was important, I mattered. Not because I'm anything special in an egotistical kind of way. But because I was created to be a part of this universe. I was created to be a part of my surroundings and my family and my friends. I was created to interact with, give back to and be a part of others in my sphere of influence. I felt so small and yet so large, both at the same time. I felt alive! It was one of those moments where you have no words to speak at the time and yet, all at once, you're filled with so much you want to say.
There was no one there to say it to, except for myself. And my Heavenly Father. My Creator.
But I really didn't need to say any words out loud. I knew within me I just needed to be alive to experience the peace and comfort of the moment. No more just existing. It was time for me to live!
I soaked in the enjoyment of the peace and quiet for the rest of the ride home, in the awareness of every moment.
At this point you might be asking, okay so what difference did it make? Some time ago I wrote an article about jumping, I have to admit, I probably didn't jump as high as I should have after writing that article. They were more like little hops. After that drive home, I was determined to start living every single moment and stop just existing. And I did that. I'm doing that. Even those moments when I'm sitting down and doing nothing, I'm enjoying them, I'm doing nothing on purpose!  I've made other changes also. I decided to remove myself from negative environments and stop doing things that were not enjoyable and were not adding to my living. I had been putting off looking for employment closer to home, so I wouldn't have to drive anymore. The Tuesday after, I applied for a job. That Friday I got the job. In two weeks I will no longer have to drive an hour and a half for work everyday. In two weeks I will walk a block and a half to work instead. As soon as the new employer and I shook hands on the deal I felt a weight lifted. I knew it was the right choice! There are other things I'm doing also, rearranging and throwing stuff out of my house. More quiet time with Elohim. And most importantly reaching out to family and friends as much as I can. I am alive! Not just existing. I am so grateful for that drive home the other evening. I'm so grateful for the life given to me by Elohim, I don't want to waste it with just existing anymore.

No right.....

Whatever I think about someone being transgender has nothing to do with what I am about to say. My opinion on transgenderism has nothing to do with someone’s choice to be or not to be transgender, that’s simply that person’s choice. However, whether or not they should be in the military? Well, I personally think it would be a huge and dangerous distraction which would put ALL of our troops in harms way!
But that’s not why I’m going to say what I’m going to say.
It’s really quite simple folks. NO ONE has a RIGHT to join the military.  There I said it.
Just because a person wants to be a pilot or a football player or a ballerina or a teacher or a truck driver or a doctor does not mean they have the RIGHT to be whatever it is they have chosen. There are tests and training a person has to go through.  These tests don’t care if you are white, black, brown, purple or green, they don’t care if you are male, female, transgender, no gender or anything else.  You simply have to be able to pass the test.
When I was growing up I wanted to be a writer, singer, dancer, actor and spy!  I can sing, but I’m no Celine or Kenny Rodgers or Charley Pride or Patsy Cline or Frank Sinatra. So much for the singing part.  I can’t walk and chew gum at the same time, I was a bit of a clutz when it came to sports, so much for dancing. I’ve never been a spy, but I like watching spy movies, so maybe. Same with being an actor.   And as you know, I’m working on the writing thing.  But just because I wanted to be or do these things, does not give me the right to demand that society or some institution allow me to be a singer, dancer, actor, spy, writer.  At one point I decided to take the easy route, or so I thought, and be a teacher. I took all my college courses, did my student teaching, passed my background checks and the state tests and I became a teacher. Which I enjoyed being for about 4 years.  But I didn’t have a RIGHT to be a teacher. I had to pass the college courses and all the tests!
I’ve also been in the military, during the tale end of the Viet Nam era. My basic training was tough. Not as tough as some say it has been, but it was tough. Our troop was the first all female troop to have a male drill seargent. Drill Seargeant Spence was a great leader, and I’d like to think we did him proud!  But I didn’t have a RIGHT to join the Army.  First I had to pass a psychological and intelligence test at the recruiters office and I had to meet certain height and weight criteria. Which I did. I know of a couple of my high school chums that couldn’t get in because they were too short and overweight, and the other had a problem with his feet. While I was in basic training there were at least 2 girls who were kicked out for different reasons. One had a physical problem that didn’t get caught during the first part of the process with the recruiters. The second had some psychological issues. She actually tried to fake strep throat and then the measles just to get out of duty assignments during basic training.  They didn’t make it because they couldn’t handle it. They didn’t have a right to be in the army, they had to pass tests.  Basic training was the 2^nd level of those tests. These tests have nothing to do with your race, religion, sexuality or political opinions. These tests are about whether or not you are physically and psychologically able to be in combat!! That’s it. It’s that simple.
So to repeat myself, I don’t care of you are transhuman, transgender, translunar, transanything, You have no RIGHT to be in the military. If you can’t pass the physical and psychological tests then you do not belong in the military.  The other military members who do pass the tests have to be able to count on the others in their troop to keep each other safe and get the job done.  They can’t do that if they know they have someone with fragile emotions or other health issues in their group. Just can’t happen.
Keep in mind that suicide rates for transgenders are considerably higher than for those who are not transgenders. According to USA Today  Suicide attempts are alarmingly common among transgender individuals such as Lampe; 41% try to kill themselves at some point in their lives, compared with 4.6% of the general public. The numbers come from a study by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and the Williams Institute, which analyzed results from the National Transgender Discrimination Survey. .  This does not seem to fit well with the idea of them passing the psychological tests to become a military member.
One last time, I don’t care what race, religion, color, gender etc you are, you don’t have a RIGHT to be in the military, or to be a doctor or ballerina.
Whatever you choose to do or to be, I wish you well, so long as you can pass the test!

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Corners and Cultures

"Culture" is an interesting critter. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word Culture has 6 different definitions.
There is a scientific meaning and an artistic/intellectual meaning, amongst others. There is also the meaning of which I want to talk about today: "the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group; also :  the characteristic features of everyday existence (such as diversions or a way of life) shared by people in a place or time."

I have experienced many different cultures in my life time. I grew up in ranch country, in Nebraska,, basic training in Alabama, spent a few years in Delaware, Colorado, Alaska, and I've lived in Texas for 25+ years. And that's not counting my different duty assignments in many other states and Germany, and my visits to other countries while in Germany.  I have lived in or at least visited nearly every state in our country except Hawaii, Washington, Oregon, Florida and the states, northeast of New York.  There are no 2 cultures alike. There are slow moving, quiet, easy going cultures, busy, close, loud noisy cultures.  I've seen friendly neighborhoods, and some not so friendly, colorful and drab.

Cultures are affected by our environment, our upbringing, our religions, our friends and neighbors, economics, and a host of other factors. And my perception of different cultures is different from others of course. Our experiences, ages, families, etc all affect our perception of anything.  For example, what I liked about one culture when I was younger, I might not like now.

So let me give you someone else's thoughts on 2 different cultures.

This last Saturday I had gone to my scripture study group as usual.  One of the older gentleman had brought his 2 grandsons who were visiting from California.  They sat quietly while we read and studied and discussed from scriptures in the Torah, and the New Testament. Once or twice the older boy even made a quiet comment. They sat there smiling and were very polite.  At one point one of the others from our group asked the boys how they were liking their visit in Texas and did they miss California?  The oldest boy gave this kind of sigh and and a little laugh at the same time. Someone asked him what that was about.  His reply? He shook his head and smiled. He said it was so quiet and peaceful and mostly "slow". We all looked at him a little quizzically. He said it's a good thing, a very good thing. Pretty astute for a 15 year old boy.

I had forgotten there was such a cultural difference between Texas and California.

Honestly, I think we all forget that. We all get so settled in our own little worlds, we forget that our little corner of the world is not like the rest of the corners of the world.  We forget that people in other states and countries live different lifestyles.  

I fuss sometimes because I have to drive 40 minutes to work, That's an hour and a half out of my day just to drive. But I drive on a safe, quiet little Texas Highway, I live in a tiny little one stop light town, and even the town I drive to for work isn't all that large.  It's pretty small by some standards, 2 hospitals, 2 high schools, 3 super Wal-Marts, etc.  The culture of my little world is pretty quiet compared to most.

So why am I talking about "culture" and the differences of cultures?  Because we need to be aware that there are differences in the world. People live in different environments, have different backgrounds and histories and expectations.  How can we hope to make a difference in peoples lives if we don't understand how and why they are different. I'm not saying we have to agree with their lifestyles or background, we don't even have to like their choices.  But we do need to be kind.  We need to be willing to treat them as human beings.

If we are going to #MakeAmericaGreatAgain we need to start with ourselves, with our own little corners of the world. And we need to understand not everyone is like us. Not everyone lives in a little house on a quiet little street in a quiet little town. Some people live in high-rise apartments in a metropolis, some live in the country in a farm house, Some live on the street or wander from town to town. Some live in shelters or prisons. Some live in the middle of nowhere in a desert, or a jungle. We all live different lives in different parts of the world.  But we are all human beings. We all want to be seen and heard and loved.  That's where we start. Recognize the differences, be respectful and kind.

I understand there will be those who are still going to be hateful, those who will attempt to abuse your kindness.  I'm not telling you to be a doormat.  I stopped being a doormat sometime ago, that doesn't mean I can't be kind.  Once you identify those who are not receptive or respectful of your kindness, wish them well and move on.  It's ok.  You can't make people like you.  You can't make people be kind.  The only person you can control is yourself.

So let's get started. I'm still a work in progress, I'm still trying to remember that my lifestyle and culture are different from other people's. I'm still working on being more patient and kind.  But it's worth it to change our nation, one life, one mind, one heart at a time.

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RX: SWFFUP or Survival Basics

For the last 4 weeks I have struggled to keep my head above water.  Dad passed away the afternoon of Fathers Day and even though we were expecting it, because of Alzheimers and pancreatic cancer, it was as though someone punched me hard in my gut and knocked the wind out of me.  For the next few days afterwards I felt like it took every ounce of strength I had just to breathe and put one foot in front of the other.
I’ve learned a lot about survival in the last 4 weeks.  Let me tell you what I’ve learned about surviving, so far.  These are just some very basic tools I’ve learned to use. Nothing scientific here, just what I’ve learned from “going through it”

1. SLEEP!!!!!  You need to let yourself sleep when you feel the need.  For a couple of days I fought it but then it caught up with me all at once!  I slept 2 whole days away. Not consecutive, but I definitely slept!  Sometimes I simply could not keep my eyes open, sometimes i just felt like I was going to fall asleep walking across the floor!  When I finally quit fighting the sleep, and I just allowed myself to sleep as often as I needed to, i slowly stopped needing less sleep.  But as I was reminded more than one person, it wasn’t just Dad’s passing I was mourning, but the emptiness, and dealing with everything from the Alzheimers and cancer from the years and months and weeks before hand that had worn my system down.  My body was simply recuperating from all of that.
2. WATER, H2O!  I very quickly realized that I was forgetting to drink my water.  So I quickly remidied that by even drinking a little extra water.  Plus, with the extra hot temps here in Texas, I needed some extra water!  But it wasn’t just drinking water that I needed.   I very quickly and thankfully I remembered something my dear friend and cowriter, Josie Jackson,  "The Power of a Shower"! Because I was already practicing this on a regular basis, it was that much easier to fnd some physical, and yes, emotional healing in the simple act of showering, 3 or 4 times a day if needed.
3. FRIENDS AND FAMILY!  Besides the general well wishes and messages and cards I received from everyone, I also learned to lean on my sister friends! Josie, Gloria & Staci and my dear cousin Sandy.  Some of them just listened, some comforted, and some had some great suggestions.  Every one of them brought something special to my first steps on the road to healing. One of the sweetest, quite literally, was when Gloria stopped by my work one day and brought me a 12 pack of my favorite soda, SQUIRT!  She said she was bringing me some squirts of happiness to get me through my sadness!  Staci waited to see a movie she dearly wanted to see on opening day, just so I could go with her.  The new transformers was AWESOME, and when we left the theatre and were standing in the parking lot chatting after the movie, I had the strangest urge to shout ***TAWANDA*** at the top of my lungs! (if you don’t know what that is I reccomend you rent the movie “Fried Green Tomatoes”.  Just say’n.  Josie, is a great listener and also a holistic practitioner, believe me she was so sweet and helpful! And last but definitely not least is my cousin Sandy. Sandy’s Dad, my Uncle Cecil and my Dad’s older brother, also passed away just earlier this year.  She was so comforting and empathetic, and made a gesture so sweet that’s touched my heart so deeply.  Her grandson Chase is creating a piece of art, similar to something we saw on Facebook that reminded us both of Dad, and my relationship with my Dad, but Chase is making it even better. (more on that later)  Needless to say these ladies are all near and dear to my heart.  I can never repay them for their kindness and comfort and “Squirts of Happiness”!!  ​            
4. UNPLUG!  Yep, I said it. Unplug!  Unplug from the phone, the social media, the tv, the world!  There were times I simply needed to be alone. I journaled, I sat outside with my coffee early in the morning (while it wasn’t 105 degrees yet!), I read, I prayed, I meditated, sometimes I just sat and cried.  I went to work and did the minimum of things I had to do for “real life”, and the rest of the time I allowed myself to do whatever I felt I needed to do to unplug from the world and plug into whatever I thought would help at least begin to heal the pain I felt, without justifying to anyone, or making exuses.

So there you have it, my personal prescription for survival, I call it RX: SWFUP, Daily Dosages needed without fail!  I’m not a DR. and I can’t guarantee 100% success.  I’m still working on it. But so far so good.  And it’s way better than falling to pieces.  Oh wait, I did that too, but this 4 part RX helped me pick up the pieces and start putting them back together.

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Limitations.......

Limitations can be very unkind and, well, limiting! We all have some very real limitations.

I'm short, 5'3", 60+ years old, and decidedly uncoordinated. Even if I wanted to, and I don't, I could never be a basketball player. I'm ok with that. As much as I would love to be the captain of a "starship" in space, they don't actually exist. So, that's a limitation that is disappointing, but I'll live.

Some limitations are temporary and/or just in my mind. Losing weight; a work in progress, limited only by my own self determination and discipline. "Reconstructing" this house; temporarily limited by finances and the availability of time. Visiting my Dad, Mom or children & grandchildren, other family and friends; temporarily limited by finances and time. Making some changes in my life; limited by my own choices, age, & temporarily by finances.

The other day I was speaking with a friend and we were discussing the limitations of our parents because of their health issues. Our conversation was eye opening, to say the least. As many of you know my Dad has Alzheimer's and we recently discovered he also has pancreatic cancer. His health is declining rapidly each day. He is now limited by his own body. Dad can no longer do the things he used to love doing, playing his guitar, bowling, tinkering on "projects" in his garage, going fishing, playing with his great grandchildren. The ravages of these diseases and age have taken a toll on my Dad's life. If he is having a bad day, he can't do anything about it, he can't even tell anyone anymore (Alzheimer's), except if he's able to say the word "hurt" or something similar. If I hate anything in life, I hate what this is doing to my Dad, how it is limiting his enjoyment of the final years of his life. I know this is not a choice he made, but I hate this limitation on my Dad nonetheless.

I'm making a conscious decision to do the best I can to "get healthy" and hopefully not be limited by my own body as I get older. Also, unlike my Dad, if I am having a bad day, I can choose to do something about it. I am limited only by myself, by my own mindset. I can choose to think of something positive, do something nice for someone, do something nice for myself.  Those are just small things. Even if I am temporarily limited by something, my health, finances, time, etc, I can choose to make changes to remove those limitations.

 (I'm working on some of those right now.)

Sometimes, we are limited by things outside ourselves; laws, weather, location, jobs, parents (if you are still living at home). We are ruled by a set of laws, by our government (wrong or right). We could break the law, but there are consequences, Not a good choice. We can make changes to some of this, by our votes, by speaking up and letting our political forces know what we want and don't want! We could go on a picnic during a blizzard, also not a good choice, and it might not be as fun as if we wait for nicer weather? I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

There's so much violence and sadness in the world today. Sometimes it's overwhelming & it can be limiting, (fear, emotions, new laws, etc). I refuse to allow these things to limit my emotions or my choices. I can fight these limitations. I can speak up, which I do on occasion. I can vote, which I do. And I can reach out to others, to change the world around me, one mind, one heart, one smile at a time.

In one of his recent podcasts, "To Quit or Not to Quit" my friend Jonathon Dunne asked the question, "does God have any limits?".  My honest answer is yes, and no. He can do anything He wants, but He also gave us free will. For example, if I ask Him to help me with my weight loss, but continue to eat donuts and pizza and all the stuff I know I shouldn't, I'm putting limits on what He wants to do for me.  If a person asks for help with their marriage, their children, their jobs, their...... but they aren't willing to do the work, they are putting limits on Him. He is willingly limited by the choices we make. Personally speaking I prefer to do things His way and I want to do whatever I can to remove the limits I have rebelliously placed on my Heavenly Creator!

So, here's why I'm writing this. I'm tired of living with all these self-imposed, health, age, financial and society imposed limitations. I can do what I need to do to make the changes necessary in my life, to get rid of as many limitations as possible.  But I can't change the world, or even my little corner of it all by myself.

If you're up to it, ask yourself what limitations you are living with that you can challenge, maybe even abolish altogether? What can you do to change your little corner of the world and make it better.

I'm done with limitations.

As always you can find this article and many others at Lanterns Buzz.

Two Sides To Every Story

Everyone has heard about the atrocities of the VA (Veterans Administration) Medical System.

"More than 120 previously unpublished investigations by the Veterans Affairs Department's inspector general, dating as far back as 2006, reveal problems at VA medical centers nationwide ranging from medical malpractice and patient safety concerns to mismanagement, infighting and corruption."

I am not saying there are not things that can't be improved. I know there are Veterans who have suffered due to mismanagement or lack of proper and immediate care. You only have to pick up a newspaper, turn on the television or the computer and you can find a plethora of articles trumpeting the ills of the system.

My own experience with utilizing the VA medical facilities tells a different story. Granted, I live in a smaller community which no doubt makes a difference, but on the occasions where I've been required to travel to larger facilities, 2 and 4 hours away, I continued to receive the finest care.

I have never once been treated with anything less than respect and kindness. From the receptionist at the front desk, my nurses, doctors, phlebotomists, other specialists, even those I merely passed in the hallways, I was always made to feel as though I was as important as anyone else and they were happy to help me.

I'm especially fond of my nurses, I can't mention them by name because of privacy rules, but they are some of the most wonderful ladies! They listen, they take the time to talk to me and listen to me. Not just about my medical concerns, but also about how my day, and their day is going. We talk about local events or news events, we all shake our heads at some of what's going on. We talk about our children and grandchildren. They give me ideas to compliment what the Doctor has instructed me to do. They comfort me and on nearly every occasion we find something to laugh about together. THANK YOU LADIES!

I have even had one Doctor from a specialty clinic who called me personally, not his nurse, not his secretary, but he called me himself to check in on me after the procedure. Amazing. Even though I probably won't see this Doctor again, I have to say he was one of my favorites! 36 years old, crazy mismatched socks, colorful tie and made me laugh during the procedure. Dr. L., you're a hoot!

I know there are those out there who don't agree that veterans should receive this kind of specialized medical care after they have completed their service time for our country. There are those who think the mistreatment of our veterans is just part of the way life is. There are those who don't care one way or the other.  There are those who believe the mistreatment is rampant throughout the entire system and it's just horrid and the whole of the VA system should be done away with.

I disagree.  Not just because I am fortunate enough to receive positive and thorough care.

I disagree because the VA Medical System is no different than any other "system". You can find mismanagement and incompetence anywhere and every where. A public or other type of private medical facility. A grocery store, a private business, educational facility, government organization, you name it, you can find fault anywhere.

I cannot and will not defend the negative aspects of any system.  However, I will speak up to say, just as nothing is altogether perfect, also nothing is altogether without any merit at all. There is positive and negative to everything. Even us as individuals, we all, each and every one of us, have weaknesses and strengths.

All I ask is the next time someone considers speaking so horribly about the VA Medical System, please remember, there are good doctors, nurses, receptionists, facilities out there who really care about our veterans and want to give them the best service possible, in return for the service our veterans provided to our country.

One last note, I am so proud and honored to see two flags at the entrance to every facility. The Flag of the United States of America, and the POW-MIA flag, to remember those men and women who were/are prisoners of war or are missing in action. Thank you to our veterans for your service to our country and those who are POW-MIA.


You can find more of my articles and articles by other authors and broadcasters @Lanterns Buzz.

GENERATIONS.......

Everyone knows about the "Baby Boomer" generation, right? But what about the generation that gave birth to the Baby Boomers?  They're still out there you know. However, their numbers are dwindling, rapidly.

Most of the younger generations, I've lost track of all their designations/descriptions, don't appreciate or understand the knowledge and wisdom that will be lost as we lose the PBB generation (Pre-Baby Boomer).  My parents are from that generation.

The majority of the parents of the Baby Boomers were raised during the Great Depression, 1929-1940.

 My parents are from that generation. They both have their own stories to tell.
The story I want to tell today is what my parents taught me.  As the oldest daughter of 3 girls, I have the advantage of knowing my parents the longest.  I know this seems like an odd statement, but I value knowing no one can ever take that away from me.  I remember a lot of things my younger siblings were never able to experience, both good and bad, and I treasure those memories.  They are mine, and mine alone.

Mom and Me!

Mom was the 3rd child and oldest daughter of 11 children. Grandpa worked on the railroad.  One of my favorite sounds is that of the train whistle.  I'm told Grandma sometimes cooked for the railroad workers.  It was the time of the depression and they had a lot of children to clothe and feed.  That meant my mother was in charge of taking care of her brothers and sisters and getting them out the door for school.  Mom used to tell me stories about having to put the ringlets in her little sisters hair, all 5 of them, plus her own.  She didn't have an electric hot brush.  She had pin curls and a "hot iron" that was heated on the pot belly stove in their kitchen. She cooked, she cleaned, she did all the things a mother would do.

Because of Mom's hardships growing up she made sure us girls (my sisters and myself) never had to do some of the hard chores she had to do.  But she also taught me to "make do".  If you didn't have what you needed, you "made do", you figured out a replacement, or did without.  And you didn't whine about it.  Mom also taught me that when the going gets tough, the tough get going.  You just do what you have to do to get the job done.  And you don't whine about it.

I know Mom gave up a lot for us girls, so we wouldn't have to do without some things.  Mom always kept the cleanest house. She made our dresses.  She cooked foods from scratch.  She didn't whine about it.

My Mom was and is no snowflake!  One way or the other Mom made me "tough".  I hated doing dishes, but Mom made sure we knew the importance of eating off of clean dishes!  We used to joke that you could literally eat off her kitchen floor it was that clean.  It was no joke. You really could.  I learned how to clean house from Mom.  (You'd be surprised how fast you can vacume & dust a living room if you want to watch American Bandstand on a Saturday morning!) I learned how not to whine about it from Mom.  I learned that when something needed to get done, you simply pitched in and helped.  You didn't wait to be asked.  I'm still the first one to jump up for the paper towels or band aides when there's a spill of milk or blood or whatever, it's instinct.  And I don't whine about it. It's just what I need to do.

If you haven't figured it out by now, one of the most important things Mom taught me was not to whine about it.  You do whatever is needed to get the job done, you don't give up and you don't whine about it. 

Dad and Me!

Dad's family was a little smaller, there were only 7 children in his family.  Dad was the baby of the family.  I remember stories about how they raised their own chickens, had a sparse garden, ground their own wheat for flour. (Grandma Celia was an excellent cook, my favorite was her chicken pot pie!).  They, meaning the whole family, walked in to town and worked odd little jobs to get money to buy a few groceries.  Grandma taught me how to darn socks.  Nothing was thrown away and everything had more than one use.  

My Dad is my hero!  I'll just be totally blunt about it, I think my Dad ROCKS!  Dad can't read sheet music, but he can play more instruments than anyone I know, including "the spoons".  He can hear a song and just "pick it out"  within a few minutes he's playing & singing it like a pro! Dad sang with my cousins and uncles and aunts, on both sides of the family at all of our family gatherings.  He was in his own country band, way back when.  We always had music at our house!  Dad was in the Navy (that's how I got my name!), He worked on the railroad.  He dispatched for the police department.  Mostly, he was a mechanic.  He was a great mechanic and taught me a lot about taking care of my own cars. 

Dad taught me how to drive, how to fish, how to figure out stuff.  Dad could make something from anything!  And he often did.  Dad could fix anything.  He wasn't obvious about any of it (well, except maybe his music), he just did it.  Dad taught me to get to work early, your coat is put away and you are ready to start work at 8am, not just walking in the door at 8am.  Dad taught me to always do my best.  Not necessarily for the boss, but because it was the right thing to do.

Dad also had a sensitive side that a lot of people didn't get to know. Dad was always willing to help people.  He was great at making us laugh.  More than once he would sneak me a chocolate bar and tell me "don't tell your mother or sisters, this is just for you".  I was the one he took fishing with him the most, partly because I was the oldest, but also because I wasn't a chatterbox.  I just enjoyed being with Dad, and I was/am a dreamer, so I could just imagine all kinds of things while we fished.  I don't remember not knowing how to waltz or do the two-step, Dad taught me by letting me "dance on his toes".  Sometimes I would pretend not to know something, just so I could spend time with Dad to learn it again.     I'll never forget the gift he gave me on one birthday.  I was a single mom of 3 wonderful children, but with little to no support from my ex.  It had been a hard year and I was struggling to pay bills, put food on the table and keep my children in clothes (they sure grow fast!).  I was working 2 jobs and I was in the Army Reserves.  The day of my birthday I was feeling kind of down, I thought my family had forgot.  Just before I was supposed to pick the kids up from school, there was a knock on my apartment door.  It was Dad.  "Here, this is for your birthday, don't tell your mother.  And I better not catch you spending it on bills or groceries or I'll take it back, this is just for you!" and he handed me a $20 bill.  I still cry every time I think about it, including now.  And I still have the striped pastel sweater jacket I bought with that $20. 

Dad taught me so much! He taught me to do my best, to be creative, and to "figure things out".  Mostly Dad taught me to be kind, to be generous, and to love.  Dad has Alzheimer's now.  He doesn't remember a lot of our most recent memories.  He often asks me where I live now or how the kids are doing in school (they are grown with their own kids).  But we have great conversations about memories from when I was a little girl.  Dad has also taught me to treasure those memories!

I love my parents.  They weren't perfect.  But they are my parents, and they both loved me, each in their own way.  They both did the best they could for me, for my sisters, and for my children.  I couldn't have made it without them!  

So back to where I started. What my parents taught me, those are the things we will lose if we don't pass them on to our children.  There are lots of tips and tricks they used to survive the depression that will disappear when they are gone.  I've learned some of them, but not all of them, not enough.  I'm glad my parents are still alive.  I'm glad they are still willing and able to talk about some of these things. 

No matter what age you are, what generation you come from, find someone from the PBB or Baby Boomer generation and learn all you can while you still can.  It might seem like a waste of time, but it's not.  I know how to "can", how to sew, how to cook from scratch, how to crochet a blanket.  I know how to do minor wiring and other repairs, bait a hook and clean a fish, change a tire, change the oil in my car (though I'd prefer not to).  I know how to ride a horse, without a saddle.  I still drive a "standard".   I know a lot of little things, but important things that my parents and grandparents taught me. 

But most importantly I learned the value of life and living from my parents.  I hope our younger generations will learn these things, the tips and tricks and the value of life things, before it's too late.  Not just for their sake, but for the sake of their children, and grandchildren and great grandchildren, for the sake of all the generations hopefully yet to come.


This article can also be found @ Lanterns Buzz. along with more great articles by myself and others!