The Pains of Multi-Tasking

"I was once told that a successful person must be able to multi-task.  To that I say, HOOEY!".  Let me tell you why this is true for me as an individual and for all of us as a nation.  

Just a little less than 2 weeks ago I managed to really goof up. I was getting ready for work, carrying my bag, my water, phone, keys, shoes, last nights tea cup (so I could put some coffee in it) and who knows what else from the bedroom to the living room. I stopped at the bedroom door to remove the baby gate (or in my case, the puppy gate), leaning over with all my *stuff*, I tried to move the gate, it fell and hit my left foot. At first the pain was what you would expect, ouch! I put my stuff on the dining room table just by the door, picked up the stupid gate, took one step and knew immediately I was in BIG trouble! It felt like a knife jabbing up through my foot where the toes join to the foot. EXCRUCIATING!  And all this before I'd even had one cup of coffee.  Which meant I was in REALLY BIG TROUBLE!  Pain before coffee is never a good thing!

Wait! Don't go yet, this really does relate to our lives!  Even maybe to politics & the media, just not in the usual way.  

I did what I could to bandage my foot (no blood by the way), continuing to get ready for work, hobbling along as best I could.  The first few days I could barely walk, used the epsom salts, padded the painful areas, and gradually it got a little better.

About the third day into this horrible episode, I suddenly had a *brain gasp* (less fancy word for epiphany).  What I had done to my foot that Terrible Tuesday morning reminded me of what I often due in my every day life, what we all do, and what is happening to our country right now.

I try to do too much at one time and end up not focusing on what's really  important, getting from point A to point B.  Multi tasking is NOT necessarily a good thing.  Lack of focus, caused by multi tasking, is DEFINITELY NOT a good thing.

But we all do it!  We all multi task. 

I was once told that a successful person must be able to multi-task.  To that I say, HOOEY!  Yes, I said it, HOOEY!  Perhaps if I had slowed down that morning, tried to do only one thing at a time, carry one thing at a time, I wouldn't have injured myself.  If I'd been paying more attention to what I was doing,  I wouldn't have had to wince with every step I took for over a week and a half.I used to do this all the time, but Terrible Tuesday taught me one thing for sure; slow down, pay attention, focus & don't try to carry too much at one time.

So, how does that relate to where we are as a nation?  Isn't that what our media and yes, dare I say it, even our supposed government leaders, have us doing every day, trying to do much at one time, carrying too heavy a load and not paying attention to where we are going?

How so?  Look at all the nice little topics of conversation they throw at us every day.  The email drama of h.c., little miss "what difference does it make?".  Ferguson, the Boston bombing trials, a fake agreement with Iran, ignoring the speech of someone who should be our friend, our ally, some silly dress on the internet and what color it is, (like I care), etc.   Meanwhile, b.h.o. & his cronies undermine (on the left and right!) our country, our constitution, our lives in every way he possibly can, not just skirting the law, but ripping the skirt off!  (i.e. amnesty, dirty dealings with iran and other terrorists!

Yes I know that word isn't pc these days, don't care. I said it and I meant it.)

Just like I had to do some immediate triage on my foot, we need to do some immediate triage on our country, for the sake of our country.  

What is the most important thing we need to do for our country that we can do right now? 

Just one thing. 

Focus, on what?  And just so you know I'm about to say something some people might not like, but like applying medicine to a booboo causing us pain, sometimes we have to do something that will hurt for just a minute, to remove what's causing the pain, (like an infection or broken bone or......).

So here it comes. 

Are you ready? 

We must get back to focusing on the Scriptures.  The Scriptures that tell us to Love Elohim first and foremost, above all else, and His scriptures tell us to love our brothers as we love ourselves.  We start there.   Psalms 105:4 "Search for YaHUaH and for His strength, continually seek Him".  Proverbs 3:6  "Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take".   Luke 12:31 "But seek the reign of Elohim and all these shall be added to you".  (read all of Luke 12!)

Instead of our focus and our purposes and our loyalties being divided (i.e. race baiting, gender baiting, all kinds of baiting), we need our purposes, our loyalties to be focused on Him, His scriptures and all these other things will stand a much better chance of getting fixed.If I'd been paying attention, if I'd been focused on what I needed to do, I wouldn't have had major pain for almost 2 weeks.   I could have been part of my own solution.  Of course I wouldn't have learned a lesson I should have learned a long time ago.  (Just ask my old cell phone that now has a large fracture on the screen because I was walking up my front stairs, while bringing my dog in on his leash and talking on my phone at the same time.  I don't recommend that combination by the way.)

We can keep going like we are, wandering around, carrying more burdens than we can handle, pointing fingers, growling (like saying OWWWWWY really loud), we can continue to be a part of the problem.

Or we can stop, and focus, on Him, His Scriptures, His purposes for us.  We can be a part of the change, a part of the solution.   It won't be easy, it means paying attention where we should be paying attention.  It won't be easy, it means that we might have to let go of some things we shouldn't be carrying around all by ourselves, and certainly not all at one time.   Don't shout me down for talking about Elohim & His scriptures.  Where else should we turn?  To a grove of trees?  A statue?  A superhero?  I firmly believe and shall not waiver, we need to pray & focus on His scriptures, Luke 12:31 "But seek the reign of Elohim and all these shall be added to you".

It doesn't mean we stick our heads in the sand and ignore what's going on around us, we pray & we focus on His scriptures.  It doesn't mean we don't voice our opinions about what we think is wrong, we pray & we focus on His scriptures first.  It doesn't mean we don't hold criminals accountable, wherever & whomever they are. But we have to hold ourselves accountable first!  

We pray & we focus on His scriptures.  We have to be part of the change before we can be part of the solution!

(Previously posted as *I had a brain gasp* over a year ago.)​

Living in a bully free zone

Bully Free, Well I'm Working On It Anyway!
By: Anolagay Sonnenfelt 

Liar. Bully. Narcissist. How do we stop them from harming us physically, mentally & emotionally? I'm not a professional, but I've had plenty of experience dealing with this and I hope my experiences can help someone else find peace of mind!

Liar, bully narcissist. We find them in all walks of life; in the school room, at home, at work, in politics, in religion, in the grocery store, at the theatre, everywhere.

If you are reading this then more than likely at some point in your life you have had to deal with a liar, bully and/or narcissist. To me, they are all one in the same. Let me explain; a narcissist is someone who is so selfcentered all they can think about is what they want, getting it their way, now, and we are all supposed to be as totally absorbed in their selfishness as they are! They will bully and lie if they have to, to get what they want. Generally speaking, they don't care who they hurt along the way.

**According to Psychology Today,
Narcissism is a less extreme version of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissism involves cockiness, manipulativeness, selfishness, power motives, and vanity-a love of mirrors. Related personality traits include: Psychopathy, Machiavellianism. Narcissists tend to have high self-esteem.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder | Psychology Today**

A bully is not always loud and abrasive, sometimes they are very subtle, but the effect is the same.

To say I've had my fair share of experience with this personality type is an understatement, at school, family, at work, etc. But I don't want to focus on them today, they've already had enough attention as it is! NO, I want to focus on what we can do about the schoolmate who spreads rumors & lies to the teacher, the family member who is such a convincing liar they are often believed over the truth, the fellow worker who is determined to get their way, get what they want and try to make you feel guilty for not giving into them or doing what they want, their way.

It took me a long time to figure this out. I was hurt, dissappointed, and found myself not trusting others. But you know what? I finally decided they are not worth it! My peace of mind, and yours, is worth more than what they want.

So, how do we combat this afront to our peace, our emotional health? The old school yard rhyme "sticks and stones might break my bones, but names will never hurt me" simply does not work.

One of the first issues i had to deal with was myself! Why was I so sensitive, so vulnerable, to their bullying? What I finally figured out had something to do with my perfectionism & desire to be "liked" & approved of by others. Your answer might be different than mine, you'll need to do your own soul searching. It took me some time, but I have finally got to the point where if someone doesn't like my opinion, my choice, my whatever, it's ok. That's their choice, their opinion. If they behave like a bully, that's a reflection of their own negativity and insecurity and ugliness within themselves. It's their problem, not mine.

I choose to live in a bully free zone,  an imaginary bully free bubble.  I simply refuse to hear their words.

I know, this sounds rather simplistic, but it works for me. I choose to be positive, friendly, helpful, kind to others, and yes, to myself. I have to stop and evaluate my emotions from time to time. I want to make certain I don't become one of them and at the same time reevaluate my responses to not be rude.

It's important that I don't let them "beat me up" anymore. A person who is a bully/narcissist will often start with emotional abuse; "you're so stupid", "why do you think that way?", "you shouldn't believe/feel that way", "you need to do it this way", etc. Emotional abuse doesn't leave any visible scars or bruises. But, left unchecked, it often leads to physical abuse. It isn't until you get that far that people might start to notice, but by then it might be to late.
**According to National Statistics:
On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.**

I guess that's why I wanted to write this. I want you to know you aren't alone. You don't have to live with emotional, verbal or physical abuse. You don't have to allow a bully to control you. I want you to know you CAN do something to protect yourself emotionally and physically. What you do is up to you, but it's important that you do something to protect yourself physically and emotionally. I know that once I started dealing with my responses, taking back my "peace", I started enjoying my life more, feeling better physically and emotionally.

That's what I want for you, whomever you are. I don't claim to have all the answers. I'm not a doctor or professional. But I've been through it. My answers might not work for you. But there are answers out there. Look for your answer. Find your peace. And don't let anyone take it from you ever again.

 ************************************

I'm a mom of 3 & grama of 8, full time receptionist/secretary. Part time writer/blogger. I don't have a desire to write about politics, there are already enough of those writers out there. My goal is to help people heal & have a better life.

I choose peace

It's been a long year, a difficult year.  But I'm still here.  Very little has gone the way I wanted it to.  But I'm still here.  Nothing is really bad, it just is what it is.  Going to work, paying bills, spending a little time with family and friends here and there, (wish it was more).  Trying to "get healthy".  Trying to get prepared for whatever is coming.

Mostly, trying to find peace.

I'm tired.  I know others are tired also.  We are tired of politics, tired of the negativity, tired of the hate mongering.  I'm tired of people criticizing each other because we don't believe & think the same.  I don't care what color you are, I don't care what gender you are, I don't care what your belief system is.  That's all your business and not mine.  I don't mean to say I agree with you, or your choices, I probably don't, but that doesn't mean I have to hate you or be mean to you.  And it doesn't mean you have to hate me or be mean to me.  We will all pay the consequences for our choices, some will be immediate, some will be eternal.

Funny thing is, while I've been looking for peace out there, in the world, from others, from religion, etc., what I discovered is, my peace is not out there.

My peace is where I am now.  It's within me.  It's in the relationship I have with my Creator & Savior. It doesn't come from anyone or anywhere else.  Not from my family or friends, not from my job, not from my house or my pet.  It's not from or about any of those people or things.

It's about my choice to find peace and to hold on to it.  I can't help the choices that other people make.  I can't control the things that happen in the world.  If someone chooses to be stupid or mean or whatever, that's on them.  If the weather turns bad & damages something, well, it is what it is.  I hope you understand what I'm talking about?

All I can control is me, myself.  The only choices I can make are my own.

I choose peace.  I encourage you to choose peace also.  But there again, it's your choice.

Still, I choose peace.

I Refuse To Give Up!

I knew it had been a LLLOOOONNNNGGGGG time since I'd written anything, I didn't realize, it's been almost a year! 

Why so long?

I have had a lot of struggles, personal, family, financial and always the unending technical issues.  I think I was avoiding writing because I'd have to take time out to think about things. Have you ever done that?  Even now, I wonder if I should be writing at all. But write I shall!

 Why?  Because I need to get some thing off my chest.  Starting with a question. Why is it that when I'm people watching, I see so many people who look angry, or sad or both? If you've read any of my previous writings, you know I'm all about encouraging others, smiling & helping others when I can. But in the last few months I've noticed a change.  A sad change. I've noticed that in more cases than not, whatever I do is met with a frown at the very least, sometimes suspicion and sometimes even anger. Why? I have to guess that it's the state of our nation, our world, our economy, or any combination.



I don't like to write about politics and such, but I can say I am not hopeful for this country if we continue down the same road we've been on the last MANY years. Like my friend and fellow writer Jonathon Dunne would say; Our hope is not in our politicians or our government. Our hope is in our Heavenly Father & Savior, our hope is also in our people.

Keeping that in mind, let me just say, I refuse to give up. We all have our struggles. We all have our days of frustration and sadness. But I refuse to give up. I will keep on smiling, I will keep on encouraging & trying to help others. I refuse to give up.

I know, I know, I'm not famous, I'm not rich, I'm "no one special" according to some people, why should you listen to anything I have to say? No special reason. But I am special to my parents, my children, my grandchildren, my friends. And most importantly, I am special to my Heavenly Father! So, you don't have to listen to me, you don't have to smile back. That's ok. But know this, I refuse to give up! I refuse to give up on myself, I refuse to give up on you, who ever you are that's reading this. I refuse to give up on those sad and angry people I see every day.

Since I've been absent for a while, I want to keep this short. Be blessed and if you can, please, smile!