Yahuah lift up His face upon you and give you peace

I was going to write on my story blog tonight, but I feel the need to add something here instead.  I was in Walmart tonight getting some medicine for my allergies/cold, whatever this is.  I was not at all pleased with what I saw there.

As I was waiting in line, listening to bits and pieces of conversations, not eavesdropping just hearing the words of people as they passed by me, I saw very few smiles.  It was as if everyone had been commanded to be sad.  The very few times I did see someone smile, they were buying alcohol for their new years eve celebration, I assume.  I find that disturbing.  Why should they be the only ones allowed to smile?

Well, the answer is they're not!  We, His Children, the creation of our Creator, should have more reason to smile than any of them!  I'm not saying we're required to be happy and smiling ALL the time, but come on, let's get real, we have more reason to smile than anyone else on earth!  And yet, here was this whole store full of people wearing sadness as though it were their favorite garment to wear.  

My solution?  Well, it wasn't really my solution, it was Yahuah's, SMILE!!!  So that's what I did, as I left the store I made it a point to smile at people on purpose and tell them HAPPY NEW YEAR if they gave me any opportunity at all.  Yes, I got a few strange looks, but I left the store encouraged because I got more smiles in return than I got the strange looks.  

This is not the first time this has happened to me, and I doubt it will be the last.  But this time was different.  I've been feeling a bit *down* myself, due to some allergy/cold symptoms and some personal stress.  I was just kind of in limbo land, not happy, not sad, when Yahuah showed me the sadness that was settling on the other shoppers was the same thing trying to settle itself on me.    There was no sudden revelation, just a gentle nudge, just a knowing, I needed to smile & spread the smiles as much as I could.  And so I did.  

In these days where there is so much bad news, sometimes even pure wickedness, hatred, revenge, etc trying to take over our hearts and souls, our minds, our families, our country, we have to fight back.  I don't know that we can change the tide of wickedness, but we can change our response!    I'm not saying we should stick our heads in the sand and deny what is happening around us.   What I am saying is that we need to hold our heads up high and smile our way through it.  Smile, rest and trust in God.  Evil will happen, for a little while longer anyway.  BUT IN THE END THE VICTORY IS HIS AND OURS!!!!  that alone should give us reason to smile.   We will have those days when smiling is the last thing we want to do.  I don't deny that.  But we must smile, we must allow "the Joy of the Lord" to strengthen us, to permeate our beings!  

Yahuah, I pray You will strengthen us throughout this new year, throughout each new day.  Strengthen us and fill us with Your Joy and Peace that we would be able to share Your presence, Your Joy and Peace, with each other and with the world.  That through our smiles, Your Joy, You would call others unto Yourself!  And Yahuah, in those moments when I find myself not wanting, maybe even thinking I'm unable to smile, remind me of the words You spoke to me this night.  Remind me my smile is not just for me, but it's for Your purposes, for others.  and never let me forget what Your Word says in Jeremiah 29:11-13  "For I know the plans I am planning for you,' declares Yahuah, 'plans of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and expectancy.  Then you shall call on Me, and shall come and pray to Me, and I shall listen to you.  And you shall seek Me, and shall find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart."   I thank You Yahuah for wrapping your Love and Peace and Joy around me so much so that I just feel so much of Your Love right now!  

I could probably continue writing until midnight, but I don't want to bore anyone, so let me end this evening with this:

Numbers 6:24-26  "Yahuah bless you and guard you; Yahuah make His face shine upon you, and show favour to you;  Yahuah lift up His face upon you and give you peace"

ENJOY LIFE, DON'T JUST LIVE

the last monday of this year....   

I'm not one to have "new year resolutions"  I think we set ourselves up for failure when we do that.  

Should we work on ourselves to improve our lives?  Sure!  Should we have goals for ourselves?  Of course.

Should we set out a list of rules & "I want to be..." lists that are usually so ridiculous they are unattainable.  "I want to lose 110 pounds by May 1st",  "I want to be a millionaire by the end of June"  When you are working as a ceo of a multi-million dollar company you're already there.  when you work salary for another company, have bills & debts & just enough $$ to buy groceries, gas & maybe have a little fun once a month, maybe not so doable, realistically speaking that is.

No, I'm not into those kind of new year resolutions.  What I am into is learning more about my Creator, developing a closer relationship with Him.  Learning His truth, learning how to trust & rest in Him.  It's not one of those goals or resloutions I can set a date to achieve it by.  It's a goal I just keep striving for.   It's not even really a goal, it's the desire of my heart.   
What I am into is getting healthier and stronger.  It's not something I am going to write on a calendar or say something stupid like "I want to lose 5 pounds every week"  It's about changing my lifestyle to lose some more weight (yes, I do have a general amount that I need to lose, but nothing that will make me look like a stick), get more exercise, sleep better, eat healthier, drink more water, have more fun.  
And, one final thing is to make a more concentrated effort to let my family & friends know that I love them & they are more important to me than anything on this earth.  Again, not a goal you can write on a calendar or make a chart for.

I encourage you to ask Yahuah what He wants you to work on for the rest of your life.  Not for just one month or one year, but for the rest of your life.   All the things I just mentioned are always on my heart, always on my "to do" list.   

Do I set smaller specific goals to help me along the way?  Yes, like when I plan out my menu & grocery list, I try to always put healthier food items on the list.   When I get home from work I try to think of what I need to do around the house & make time to spend with Yahuah.   Whenever I get a chance I spend time with my family, in person, on the phone, video chat, etc.  

Before anyone thinks, "oh my, that sounds too good to be true", let me set you straight. It is.  Notice the word *try* in there?   Oh, I know, there's some quote out there that goes something like this "there is no try in success, there is only DO"  and to that I say, well bully for them!

I'm happy with trying, because every once in a while, I succeed.  But sometimes, I get home from work and I'm exhausted and for one reason or another, sometimes I just don't want to do ANY thing.  And sometimes when I'm getting groceries I just have this major longing for something CHOCOLATE!! what do I do about it?  Well, I buy some little chocolate bite of something and thoroughly enjoy it.  And yes, there are days (yesterday for example) when I just feel so crummy, all I want to do is stay home in my jammies with some hot tea & a good book.  GASP, THE HORROR!!!  hahahaha.  

So what am I saying?  GO TO YAHUAH & FIND OUT WHAT HE WANTS FOR YOUR LIFE, HOW DOES HE SEE YOU?  Do that.  Whatever it is you've had a desire for in your heart might be a hint.  I'm not saying it is, I'm not saying it isn't, but at least consider it, ask HIM about it?

But whatever you do, instead of making a bunch of silly little lists, that most likely we will fail to do most of them and then feel worse than before, decide what it is you want to do with your life, better yet what HE wants to do through you, through your life.  DO THAT!  At least try!!

Try, step by step, little by little, and maybe, yes maybe, sometimes in leaps, but at least try.  

No lists, no resolutions, let go of what you can't control, & enjoy life, don't just live.  Live and enjoy your life.  Don't let the fear of failure keep you from trying.

I was going to write on my story blog tonight, but I've run out of time.  I'll try to add some more tomorrow or 
Wednesday.  I don't know if I'll be back here tomorrow night, might be spending the evening with some of my friends.  I hope you have some fun, be safe and, in the mean time have a HAPPY & BLESSED NEW YEAR!!!! 

oooops! BUT HE LOVES ME ANYWAY!!

Some of you may have notice I had a post a few minutes ago and now it has been deleted.   That's because I was writing on my story and didn't realize I was on the wrong blog page.  I deleted it and posted it to the correct page at Lost Child Found Again.  

And now it's past my bed time.  But before I go I just want to say thank you to my readers.  Thank you for being patient and forgiving.   I'm just like everyone else, I make mistakes.  But guess what, our Heavenly Father, He loves me anyway.  In fact, He knew I was going to make these mistakes, sin, make dumb choices, before I was even conceived.  And He loves me anyway.  He loves you the same way. 

So tonight I go to sleep content in the soul deep knowledge that my Heavenly Father loves me more than I can possibly imagine and He desires His very best for me.  

Sorry, I can't keep my eyes open much longer.  Please, everyone be blessed and I'll chat again soon!

Blessings to all!   SHALOM!

Keeping the Sabbath. Working on it anyway.

Keeping the Sabbath.  Working on it.   Yes, I know some of you go to church on Sunday.  I occasionally attend a Sunday morning "service", I enjoy the worship & teaching where I go on Sunday mornings.  I also am a part of a small discussion group on Wednesdays, where I am learning a LOT!

But my current goal, my most important mission, if you will, is to learn more about & observe YAHUAH's Sabbath.  One of the problems I'm encountering is because I work all week, as I've mentioned before, sometimes 9 & 10 hour days.  I get home & I'm exhausted, more mentally & emotionally exhausted than physically exhausted.  So by the time the end of the work week gets here, my apartment is a MESS!

Do you know how difficult it is to relax into His Peace, to truly experience Shabbat Shalom, in the middle of a mess.  Soooooooo, I'm setting forth on 2 missions.  One to adjust my daily *routine* to keep my home from becoming such a disaster so that on Friday after work I can come home and pursue mission #2 *Shabbat Shalom*. 

And yes, I have a plan.  I'm going back to a system that has worked for me before, but when someone (who at the time was supposed to be one of the most important people in my life) made fun of me for using it, I quit.  But now  I don't care what that person thinks any more, they are no longer part of my life.  Anyway.......  I am going to go back to "FLYing".
 http://www.flylady.net/ is an awesome tool/system to use and very easy.  If you struggle with organizing & cleaning as I do, I encourage you to give it a try.
  
But my main mission is observing, learning about & from
YAHUAH's Sabbath in the way He desires us too observe His Sabbath. 

With that being said, let me end this post with what's in my heart.  

I wish you all  
     SHABBAT SHALOM!!

Emotions. We all have them.

So, first of all,  please let me apologize to my readers, whomever & where ever you are, for not posting earlier this week.  Working 9 & 10 hour days almost everyday for the last few weeks is getting old.   Correction, it's already old.  I'm so done with that nonsense.  But more on that later.

I just want to share one thing with everyone before I get started housecleaning.  (hold on, I need to go get another cup of coffee...),  ok, coffee refilled.  

Emotions.  We all have them.  Yahuah (most of you call him by the name God), created us in His image.  

Nehemiah 8:10 
 And Nehemiah continued, "Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared.  This is a sacred day before our Lord.   Don't be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!"

What did Nehemiah say?  "...for the joy of the Lord is your strength!"

When Yahuah entered the temple & saw it had  been made into a money changers pit (from hell?).   What did he do?  He became angry and threw over the tables & threw out the money changers & yelled at them!  

Emotions!

John 3:16
"For Yahuah so loved the world He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life."   

What did Yahuah do?  He LOVED us!  

Love is not just a verb, it's an emotion.  

Why am I talking about emotions?

Because this time of year people, (that's us), go through a lot of emotions.  Joy, sadness, anger, depression, fear, etc.   But we are told by the media, by *society* that the only acceptable emotion is joy.  If you are anything but happy, joyful, then there is something wrong with you, you are not normal, take a pill, see a counselor, read a book, "get over yourself".    

My personal belief is that this is WRONG!   What happens when we deny those other emotions?  We stuff them down deeper inside of us with food, drugs, alcohol, spending, and other supposedly more socially acceptable behaviours.

Now I'm not saying it's ok to be angry and go yell at or hit whomever you are angry with, or that medicine isn't helpful at the right time.    

Emotions themselves are not the problem.  It's what we do with them, because of them that becomes the problem.   

All I am saying is that we have emotions.  We need to deal with them, recognize them as real and a part of who we are.    Don't live in the negative emotions, but don't try to stuff them down, hide them away.   Face them, deal with them, fix whatever is causing them.    

Sometimes emotions are the smoke, we turn on the fan & blow away the smoke, without putting out the fire causing the smoke.    IT'S TIME TO PUT OUT THE FIRES, IT'S TIME TO BE REAL AND FIND OUT WHAT'S REALLY CAUSING OUR EMOTIONS.  

It's not the emotions that are the problem.

I'm really tired of people telling me, 'you shouldn't feel sad, afraid, fearful, etc'  or 'why do you feel like that, you have a car, a safe place to live, food & clothing, what reason do you have to feel that way?'  etc etc etc

Thank you, to some really good friends, (Lora & Gloria), who talk me through my 'moments'  and a new acquaintance, (Jim, has pointed me to some info I'm still researching that might explain why I have always felt, thought, been different than what 'normal' people experience.
 
Now, keep in mind.  This is just my opinion.  This is what I believe I have heard Yahuah saying to me, a lot, lately.   

So I guess what I'm trying to say, is let yourself FEEL, experience the emotion and ask Yahuah what He wants you to learn from it, do with it, etc.   

I will no longer stuff my emotions deeper, try to run away from them, pretend they don't exist.  I am real person, created in His image, & He had emotions.  Emotions are a *normal*, real, part of being alive.

OK, enough for now, one more cup of coffee then I get back to cleaning.   oooops, one last emotion, I HATE CLEANING HOUSE!!!  LOL.   

HOW IT TURNED OUT

so, I told you I would tell you how it all turned out at our group discussion tonight.  It's part Bible/Tora study - part current events discussion.  ELOHIM had shown me a few things to share, & I had them written down, sort of, more like a general outline? I left it at home.  so while I was at work taking a break I wrote it down again, on a tablet that I used to take notes at meeting at work.  I left the tablet locked in my drawer at work.  so after we all got there, and we had our usual conversation, Charlie had made a delicious beef stew and pumpkin pie, yum yum, (THANKS BROTHER!!).  I started the discussion by reading to them what I had posted here the other night. I then started adding somethings that I felt HE had previously given me to share.  what was really "funny" and very like HIM, as the conversation continued, using what others were sharing, HE would lead it back to points that I hadn't been able to share yet.  the conversation more less went full circle a couple of times, I learned something, personal and spiritual.  One of the things I learned was that I just need to be myself, be the woman HE created me to be, and let HIM speak through me, I don't always have to have everything all planned out. I was a little worried because I had left both sets of notes behind, read I might forget something, but because I shared from my heart or should I say HE shared through/from my heart, HE didn't let anything be forgotten, it all got shared anyway!
the rest of what was shared? that's a subject for another day.
:-D
its already past my bedtime, again. 
I'll try to share more this weekend.
BE BLESSED,
SHALOM ALECHIYM

I BELIEVE HIM!!

what to say, what to say, what to say?  This Wednesday is my turn to present a topic for discussion at our study group.  And for once in my life, I find myself at a loss for words.  

Do you know what this tells me?  I hope you do.  What I'm thinking, what I'm feeling, deep in my spirit, is that I need to spend time with Yehua, my Saviour, Best Friend, Confidant, Brother.  I need to ask HIM what HE wants to say through me.  

Every day I come closer to the reality that, guess what folks, it's not about me.  It's not about you.  It's ALL ABOUT HIM!!

He created us, He loved us before we were ever even formed in our mother's wombs.  He died for us so that we can spend eternity with HIM!!  

All He desires from us is that we believe in Him & believe Him.   There is a difference you know.  I believe in the reality of the existence of my car, my puppy dog, my children & grand children, the sofa I'm sitting on, my friends, the people I work with, etc etc etc.  I believe that Yehua existed, indeed he always has & always will exist.  I believe that with every fiber of my being.  But I also BELIEVE HIM.  I believe that what He says is true & I can count on Him & what He says 100%.  Do I believe my friends, family & coworkers?  For the most part yes, but I'm aware that sometimes we as human beings only tell each other what we want others to know.  I don't "believe" my sofa, my car, my puppy.....  

But I believe HIM, I believe Yehua, Elohim, Ruach Ha Kodesh.  (Jesus, God, Holy Spirit)  I believe that when He says in Jeremiah 29:11-14 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  and you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord....", I know that He loves me and He wants me to have Peace & Hope.  I know that he wants me to have a future filled with His Peace, Shalom Peace, nothing missing, nothing broken, nothing out of place.  

So yes there is a difference between believe in someone, & believing them.  I believe Him.  

Maybe that's what I should share?  or maybe I just need to spend more time with Him to find out what He wants to share with us.  

I'll let you know how it turns out. 

In the mean time,

Shalom Alechiym, (Peace to you)

LOVING MY JOURNEY WITH HIM!!

I love the journey I am on, the journey with my Savior & best friend in the entire universe!!  tonight, Friday night in the States, I made an extra effort to honor the Sabbath, Shabbat.  He poured into me,  His vessel, His scriptures & what he wanted me to learn from them  , His SHALOM PEACE, His glorious presence.  it was so amazing!  it's really hard for me to describe, and its late, so I need to get to sleep right away.  a friend called me just after I had finished writing in my journal, I had decided to go ahead and start my supper.  I didn't realize I was still so much under the influence of  His Holy presence, as I tried to talk to her on the phone, I felt giddy, foggy, JOY, UNSPEAKABLE JOY!!  it's very difficult to explain now. I will try again on Monday night, if not before.

what I want to tell you all now is SEEK HIS GLORIOUS PRESENCE!!!!

SHABBAT SHALOM!!

(I did this post from my phone so please forgive if there are any grammar or spelling errors)

OOOOOOO BABY BABY, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE!!

FINALLY got out of bed to get my coffee and breakfast, took kaci outside to do his thing and here is what I saw!

KRAZY DAYZ

super busy at work & having internet issues, unable to post except for from my phone which would take way too long to write what I want to write, stupid cable tv works, but connected internet is apparently offline.  I don't know, they said something like that when I called in the problem. 
should be posting something tonight.

everyone have a very blessed day!!