allow myself to cry when I need to!

I was reading another blog just a few minutes ago & suddenly felt so connected to the writer.  http://ohsoshabbybydebbie.com/when-and-why-women-cry/ 

Here is my reply: Sometimes, I want to cry so bad, from anger, disappointment, just plain sadness & sorrow, and sometimes I don't know why.  I also don't know why I can't allow myself to cry.   I always tell myself I can't cry right now, I'm on my way to work, or I have to stop at my son's house, or I have to go shopping, or what if someone sees me.  And then when I am at home alone.  I want to cry, I need to cry.  I'm afraid to cry.   what if I cry and i can't stop.  Crying is a sign of weakness and I can't be weak.  or i'm just afraid to cry for whatever reason.   what if...........      So I don't allow myself to cry.

Then suddenly someone will say something or do something, at work, in a conversation, at the store, at a family gathering and suddenly the tears just flow as if I were a 2 year old child that just got spanked and they won't stop.  Sometimes they are very quiet tears, tears I try to hide but can't.  Sometimes they are great sobbing down to my core tears and I have to excuse myself. 

Maybe that should be my next self improvement project, learn how to allow myself to cry when I need to!   Like the rain clouds, I need to let it flow!